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What do you think about during sex?

303 women and 394 men have answered
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© surveymonkey.com

  • Concern about what their spouse is thinking and feeling was more of an issue for men, but not significantly so 57% to 47%).
  • A third of men and a quarter of women think about something they wished they could do.
  • Thinking about porn was rare, and as common for women as for men at 8%.
  • Women are more likely to have non-sexual thoughts, and for most men such thoughts are intentional as an attempt to delay climax.
  • Non-sexual thoughts were most common in women under 35 at 42%. For women 35-54 this dropped to 30%, and for women 55 and up it was 20%

Women’s Other Answers:

  • I’m not sure why my mind wanders but I always catch myself thinking about random things. It’s not purposeful and it doesn’t keep me from climaxing. I do wish I could stay in the moment more sometimes. He has no idea and it’s not his fault so I keep it to myself.
  • Hoping he doesn’t climax too soon.
  • Pain
  • please, God, don’t let the baby wake up!
  • How I love him.
  • a fantasy about others watching us
  • Worried I’m taking too long and he will get frustrated
  • Enjoying the pleasure
  • Wondering if I am as good as women in his past, feeling inadequate
  • My husband and our love
  • Sometimes I think about the fact that I’m thinking too much.
  • How awesome God’s gift of sex is! And what I need to be doing to make it better for my husband.
  • I think about what we are doing, but unfortunately, I think about my husband masturbating to porn and having emotional, physical, and sexual affairs with other women. This is what porn turns into, and we are still trying to work through all of this nearly two years later.
  • Connecting with my husband
  • If he did what we’re doing with the coworker he’s admitted screwing. ??
  • What I want to do next
  • trying to find ways we can connect, what signals can I send or what can I say to communicate my needs without hurting his feelings or stalling the mood.
  • My husband’s affair
  • what my spouse is looking at (on me) and does he like what he sees
  • 95% of the time it is non-sexual (to-do list) items. I’m surprised you put distracted with Not into it. Those are SO different.
  • How my body looks
  • wondering if he is enjoying it and getting an erection
  • Wondering if he is grossed out by my post-baby tummy.
  • Are we so loud that we will wake the baby
  • Problems we have had in the past (this is a distraction and a turnoff)
  • Most often I am trying to concentrate on receiving pleasure and trying to get my body to respond and enjoy it.
  • How to bring him pleasure
  • good or bad i feel about how my body looks to him
  • anything that will help my body respond, or how to guide him to what works best for my body
  • His past, or a fantasy about undressing for him.
  • What is on TV at that moment
  • My husband’s body-the way it moves.
  • What his reactions/feelings are(he’s very nonresponsive on the surface)
  • Or nothing so I don’t get distracted
  • The things I am not bold enough to say out loud. He’d be shocked and pleased if I did, but I can’t make the words come out of my mouth! :/
  • if i am pleasing to him and if he will get upset that i don’t like the other stuff he likes
  • Wow, my husband is HOT!
  • used to think about housework. I have to purposefully focus on what we are doing so I can enjoy it.
  • what I need to do around the house, etc.
  • in awe that God gave us such an incredible gift!
  • Trying not to think about my past.

Men’s Other Answers:

  • self loathing (body image issues)
  • I am very conscious of my spouse’s actions and reactions and how she is progressing to orgasm and how to keep her coming when she starts to climax
  • I try to focus completely on what she is experiencing and what I can do to completely satisfy her.
  • Bringing pleasure to my spouse
  • my wife
  • what’s sex after all i am married
  • Depends if trying to or not to finish, if kids are home or alone, etc…
  • How incredibly HOT my wife is
  • how blessed I am to have such a gorgeous wife.
  • Spouse
  • Sex
  • What to do to give her pleasure
  • Nothing, just kinda lost in the ecstasy of the moment.
  • How her body feels, how it looks, how she is reacting. Often watching her breasts or hips or bottom as we make love is the stimulus that takes me over the edge.
  • sometimes worry about erection going soft
  • What I need to do to help her feel better.
  • hoping she climaxes
  • How much I love my bride.
  • How to increase here pleasure
  • her breathing – my breathing
  • believe or not, many times i am thanking God for what i am doing and the wonderful woman my wife is. Worshipping God and her. 🙂
  • How wonderful my wife is and looks.
  • Thanking and praising God
  • how to make her climax more and faster!!!
  • Hope my son doesn’t walk in on us…
  • Fear of losing erection
  • How she feels, her movements, her vibe
  • Something I wish she would do
  • I hope she likes that and I hope I last long enough if she is not there yet.
  • What she is feeling.
  • totally random things for no apparent reason. like numbers.
  • Trying to talk myself into not climaxing fast
  • How to maximize her pleasure (hopefully she’ll enjoy it enough that she’ll want to do it more often)
  • Is my wife feeling pleasure.
  • what she likes and how I wish she would say what she likes while we are into it
  • It varies from one time to the next.

© surveymonkey.com

  • Men are more likely to focus on the sex (52%), while women are more likely to focus on the sensations (41%).

Women’s Other Answers:

  • What all I could be doing at that moment.
  • Distractions
  • Toss up between how I feel and something I saw/read erotic
  • a fantasy about others watching us
  • Worried about him getting frustrated because I’m taking too long
  • Wondering if I am as good as women in his past, feeling inadequate
  • Totally depends. I can be focused on nothing, but the sex one day and the next day be thinking about errands to be done and grocery lists to be made. Totally depends on how my body will react that day.
  • God and what my husband needs to make this great sex.
  • Wondering what my spouse is thinking and feeling
  • if my fat rolls are showing
  • what needs done… to do list
  • how it can feel better
  • how much time we have
  • What he is thinking or something nonsexual
  • what my spouse is feeling – trying to make it great for him! :]
  • Stuff
  • Does my husband really want ME? Am I really attractive to him, does he want to make love because of his own desires or because I turn him on?
  • a fantasy not including my spouse but not about anyone else specifically (the other person is not anyone I’ve ever seen before)
  • non-sexual things – to do list items, trying not to forget something that has to be done tomorrow…etc.
  • How my body looks
  • If his enjoying it and getting an erection
  • waking the baby!
  • Constantly distracted
  • How my husband feels
  • I have CP, so I am constantly worried about going into spasms in my legs/hips.
  • he gives few external signals, so I worry a lot about whether he is enjoying things
  • Most often, I’m distracted or just wishing he would hurry up and finish. It is only occasionally that I am really thinking about the moment and into it.
  • if i am pleasing to him
  • Mind is blank
  • things I need to do

Men’s Other Answers:

  • wondering What spouse is thinking.
  • wanting to give my wife the most pleasure possible
  • How I’m making her feel
  • Don’t climax, don’t climax, don’t climax!
  • What my spouse is thinking & feeling
  • How I want this moment to last forever
  • How it feels for her
  • What I need to do to help her feel better.
  • hoping to last longer
  • How my spouse is feeling, what else she might enjoy
  • Wondering what my spouse is thinking and feeling
  • How to increase her pleasure
  • believe or not, many times i am thanking God for what i am doing and the wonderful woman my wife is. Worshipping God and her. 🙂
  • how to make her climax more and faster!!!
  • Focusing on my wife and making her feel good/pleasing her.
  • Trying not to climax to soon and wondering what she is thinking and feeling. Is she having fun?
  • how she is feeling, pleasing her
  • I hope she is enjoying this as much as I am!
  • How well she is enjoying it.
  • At the start, I’m thinking a lot about how to get my wife going. After I get some positive feedback, i think more about what we’re doing and what to do next.
  • How wife feels
  • Taking care of my spouse first.
  • How she feels
  • What she is feeling.
  • Trying not to climax until she does
  • Is my wife getting pleasure from sex





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