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Oral Sex – Attitudes and Prevalence

309 women and 754 men have answered
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How often is oral sex on one or both of you part of sex?






Very rarely



Less than 10% of the time



10% to 25% of the time



26% to 50% of the time



51 to 75% of the time



76% to 90% of the time



More than 90% of the time



  • Women report oral sex as more common than men. Half of women say it occurs in more than half their sex, while only 34% of men say the same. This is likely because the women responding to our polls are more sex positive than women as a whole.

© surveymonkey.com

  • Three percent of women have never performed oral sex.
  • Only 4.4% think it is gross, and only 1.5% think it is morally wrong.
  • A quarter of women said it is okay except for ejaculation.
  • Almost half enjoy doing it because he enjoys receiving it.
  • Thirty eight percent of women say preforming oral really turns them on.
  • One woman in six said they love it and it makes them totally wild.
  • Eight percent of said they have had an orgasm while doing oral on him.

© surveymonkey.com

  • Ninety-six percent have received oral sex.
  • Forty-nine percent really enjoy it.
  • A quarter are only open to receiving if they have just showered.
  • His excitement over doing it is enjoyed by one in five women.
  • One in eight says it is the best way for them to reach orgasm.
  • Eight percent say it is the only sure way to reach orgasm, and 4% say it is the only way they climax. However, 10% say they cannot orgasm from oral and 8% say it does nothing for them.
  • One in eight also wishes he did it more often.
  • Twelve percent say it is their favourite sex act.

© surveymonkey.com

  • Two percent of men had never preformed oral sex.
  • Preforming oral sex on their wife got very high marks from most men. Fewer than 2% said they dislike doing it
  • Only 4% dislike the smell/taste. Forty-one percent like the smell/taste and 43% love it.
  • A number of men commented their wife is unwilling or hesitant about receiving. Several said she enjoys it and climaxes, but later feels bad about doing it.

© surveymonkey.com

  • Ninety-two percent have received oral sex.
  • Forty-two percent would like to receive oral sex much more often.
  • Eighteen percent say it is their favourite sex act.
  • Eighteen percent like it as foreplay, but would rather climax from intercourse. Five percent cannot climax from oral.
  • Twenty-three percent would like her to go to climax.
  • Her excitement about doing it is a plus for 20%.
  • Five percent say her refusal to do it is a major problem for their sex life, and 15% say it is a minor problem.


  • Only 7% of men find swallowing “important”. About a third like it but do not find it important, and almost as many do not care.
  • Five percent do not want her to swallow.

Women’s Comments:

  • I would like to try it, but not sure how to do it.
  • I would like more comments when I’m doing something right. Positive reinforcement would help and turn me on more.
  • He told me once that he doesn’t really like when I give it to him, so he doesn’t wash it on purpose to stop me. And he feels that if I give it to him, then he should return the favour, which he doesn’t like doing. Basically I enjoy it (on me and him) and he doesn’t at all for either of us, so I find it hard to request.
  • I would love it if he would do it. It doesn’t seem fair that I give to him and he won’t give in return!!
  • I usually get a uti, vaginal infection or bacterial infection if my husband performs oral on me. So it’s something I never desire from him. He, on the other hand receives it probably 3 times a week from me. It gives me happiness to pleasure him this way.
  • Love giving it, just wish the feeling was mutual.
  • When we first got married I thought it was morally wrong, but have changed my mind.
  • I didn’t like doing it and would never swallow even though I knew he loved it UNTIL I read your article on it and tried using chocolate syrup! Made a big difference in our sex life and now I don’t even have to use any syrup.
  • How do you get him to let you perform oral sex on him?
  • Oral sex is a great part of our sex life. It is a great start for me to have multiple orgasms.
  • Only ever squirted during oral
  • I started enjoying I when my husband learned how to do it right!
  • I’d enjoy giving & receiving, but he’s just not comfortable with it. I think it would give us more options.

Men’s Comments:

  • Expect to die without really experiencing this.
  • Too obsessed with being “clean down there”. I’d rather taste HER than taste soap!!! She insists on showers before letting me perform oral.
  • I love it. It’s a huge turn on to give and receive.
  • Receiving is nice but to give is great!
  • She is not that concerned that I enjoy both very much
  • I wish she could relax and enjoy it more when I do it for her. She gets tense right away and has me stop after a minute or two.
  • She likes it for herself occasionally but feels guilty to not over to do it for me.
  • I wish she would allow more oral performed on her.
  • As a man oral sex is just as important as vaginal intercourse. They go hand in hand during each love making session.
  • I don’t really care if she swallows but it would be nice to finish in her mouth sometimes.
  • She has sensitive gag reflex and afraid it will cause a problem. I miss it as it was a regular thing as a teenager.
  • She has done it to me 4 times in 35 years. I do it almost every time… Sigh… I sure hope they do it in heaven!
  • My wife gives it to me almost every night. I only perform oral sex on her once a month as that is all she desires.
  • She rarely does it for me but expects it from me almost every time it creates real issues for me
  • I love both giving and receiving. She never asks for it. I’m embarrassed to say but I may be need to offer more often.
  • Early on in our relationship she was hesitant because of her own perception of her appearance/smell/taste (was never an issue for me). The longer we’ve been married she has grown much more comfortable about that. She still likes to be recently bathed most times when I do oral.
  • I like doing oral on my wife, it’s one of the only couple of ways that she can climax. I love receiving oral from her too but she has never finished me with oral and I’m too nervous to ask, although I’d like to try it.
  • Took many years before she was comfortable doing for me. Does not like it for her and that’s ok. Patience was a key along with reading others thoughts on the subject.
  • I have such a quick trigger…we have found that me doing oral on her is the best way to get her excited (foreplay) before intercourse. I get to do it to her every time we have sex!
  • It is the one thing I crave that is not fulfilled in our sex … life maybe 3-4 times in 22 years…….it is the one reason I don’t feel close sexually with my wife.
  • She says that she likes it. But she expects extreme cleanliness, that means even if washed and cleaned half hour before she don’t feel doing so. she don’t express what she’s worried about, but says she would like to do it. She feels her mouth getting dry after giving.
  • Over the years we have both grown to really enjoy both receiving and giving oral sex. It was a process of her getting comfortable with giving and me learning how to be better at giving. We often use oral as part of foreplay, and occasionally do it as a stand alone act. My wife has never swallowed and very rarely lets me finish in her mouth, but that has never lessened the pleasure for me. She is not fearful of my semen, just prefers not to do that.
  • I sometimes did oral on her in the early years of our marriage but she has always refused to do oral on me claiming it makes her uncomfortable. Eventually, she would stop me when I headed in that direction. Probably because she feels like she shouldn’t receive if she isn’t willing to give. It is a bit of a disappointment to me that she won’t at least try, but it is what it is.
  • I give her multiple orgasms via oral, then finish with intercourse. I’m a giver – just love it!
  • It is a nice change of pace I think much more intimate because all the attention is on only 1 person. When done to completion it makes me feel like she really accepts me and loves me.
  • She previously would climax (sometimes even multiple Os) when I performed oral sex on her but now rarely even lets me do it (and she knows it’s one of my most favorite things to share) and hasn’t climaxed from it in many years and won’t give me any hints, or directions on how to make it more pleasurable for her. And she won’t even talk about it (so I have stopped asking/initiating it). And I really miss it – I’d happily trade never receiving oral sex again if I could frequently share giving it to her
  • I would love her to perform oral sex on me much more than she does. It feels like it is more of a duty or obligation. She rarely initiates oral. Some of my best memories of sex are oral. I must be absolutely clean for her to do it. I am happy to wash up beforehand.
  • this is a huge fantasy thing for me both giving and receiving. she has done it at times in the past but the 3-5 times were briefly and only 69, not just for me. now she won’t give or receive and said it is just gross. not sure why and she either doesn’t know or won’t tell me.
  • I guess I (wrongly) expect her to be a mind reader. She gives me oral on average about once per year (no exaggerating) – although never all the way to climax. When shes doing it I tell her how much I LOVE it, but then another entire YEAR (or more!) goes by! I give her oral pretty often and she really enjoys it (and O’s about half the time I do it). So why does she (almost) never do it for me? I just don’t get it. I feel like if I say anything about it she will feel it’s a burden to her. Just ONCE I’d love her to give me oral to a climax, whether she swallows or not. I would love (probably naively so) for her to just figure it out. For the life of me I don’t see why she doesn’t.
  • I love giving her oral sex – it comes from a serving heart – I put her first – she climaxes and then I come in her and finish for myself (Highly recommend the book, “She comes first”). It is very tender love. I feel it is both of us really opening ourselves fully to each other and it is rewarded in unique, deep, intimacy. I love the view from “down under” – her breast, her smile and her climax. The aroma is delightful and I love eating my way to her heart. Really special when she really wants it and “sits on my face!!!!!!!”
  • She does it very infrequently to me and usually only when I ask, which I don’t like to do. I wish she would do it more. I do it often to her because it’s usually the best way for her to climax and she does not climax from intercourse.
  • At our age (65), we are very excited about sex. I really love oral on her because it is sooooo good for her. With my ED issues, I’m not so into receiving but appreciate the effort- especially because it usually means that I get to pleasure her Big Time!!
  • I would probably press the issue more if we were having non-oral sex on a regular basis, but since that’s not the case, I don’t ask. I do it for her almost every time because it’s the only way she gets aroused. She says thinking about it kind of grosses her out and she won’t kiss me after I’ve done it, but enjoys it while I’m doing it.
  • Her unwillingness to perform oral sex used to be a major problem for our marriage. God has helped me to see sex as how he uses her to bless me, so I trust that she’ll follow the spirit leading to share the sexual blessings that God has in mind for me. She won’t let me perform for her either though, and I feel like she is missing out, like she may enjoy sex more and want to be together more often if I could do that for her too.
  • I try to get her to tell me more of what she wants me to do when I do her but she doesn’t. Don’t really know if I’m doing it right. She doesn’t seem real excited about returning the favor on me…I have to ask which makes me feel kind of like a dick.
  • She acts like she likes it while I am doing it but then gets mad later and accuses me of not respecting her wishes. She won’t even consider doing me now but she used to early in our marriage. She was never very enthusiastic but was usually willing. I try to be thankful for what we have but it feels like something is missing.
  • I love to give her oral and would love it in return but she has always refused. When I dream of sex with her we are frequently in a 69 position.
  • I really wish it was a more regular part of our love making… It has gotten less and less over the years… Now she almost never lets me do it and even less to me
  • Oral used to be much more common but we went about 10 years where she would not allow me to give her oral. Then it cycles, once every few months for 3 months, then none for a year or more. Something I love to do and want to be a frequent part of our experience. Relationship troubles kill it for her.
  • My wife does not swallow, but I wish she did. It makes me feel that I am not “good enough” for her, though I am sure that is more mental on my part.
  • I give her oral sex 9 out of 10 times…. She doesn’t like giving me oral and only does it on my birthday. She doesn’t ask me to give her oral but I willingly do it knowing what it does for her
  • Would like for this to be a part of our intimacy, but my wife has never been open to giving or receiving.
  • We have really gotten to where oral sex, usually 69 is almost always part of our foreplay. She used to bring me to orgasm in her mouth and would then either spit it out or “chase it” with a drink. We went for a few years where she felt oral sex was sinful but had an awakening a couple of years ago & now nothing in the marital bed is off limits, including anal sex. She has recently learned to deep throat me and after my suggestion she brought me to orgasm while doing that and never missed a drop. I love performing on her and she goes crazy with multiple orgasms. A huge part of our love making.
  • almost never do it, either way, because she does like me doing it to her — she doesn’t like the smell on my lips and face she doesn’t do it to me because (I think) its “gross” — that’s where pee comes from
  • I do not understand how she can climax (very obvious) yet she rarely rarely lets me do it. No pubic hair would be nice too but I know will never happen.
  • OS on her used to be nearly every time. I love it. As our sex life has continued to dwindle, OS like everything else has just been taken off the menu. The box for or sex life keeps getting smaller and smaller.
  • I lovedoing my wife. It is one of my favorite acts. She is ok with it only sometimes and only rarely does she let me do it until she finishes. I enjoy receiving as well but she does not do it very often and does not usually do it until climax. I wish she would but I don’t like to bring it up anymore.
  • We both really enjoy oral sex on each other and think it is a great option when intercourse is not available or as foreplay but we both are careful to not let it replace the special intimacy we have when we do have intercourse.
  • I always perform oral sex on her and I enjoy it, but she refuses to reciprocate. If I ever bring it up she refuses to even discuss it. I say that I do it for her and she says that I can stop if I want, but she would not even consider it. I ask her to initiate some of the time, but this is something that she is not willing to either.
  • I would like to go down on my wife, despite a bit too much hair and not being a fan of the smell, because something about it turns me on… and I think would turn her on if she could relax enough to get into it. But for the most part, she’s not so interested in it. Says she doesn’t feel much down there at all, speaking generally.
  • I feel it’s a lose lose situation for me. She will not give oral to me, but will ask me for it. I don’t think that’s fair or reasonable of her but she refuses to change. Yet if I stop giving I lose out on something I do enjoy doing. So if I push for “fairness” and stop giving then I have a double loss, not only do it not get it from her but I also miss out on giving to her, which I enjoy.
  • Oral sex on her plus my using a vibrator on her has radically changed our sex life. She used to never be able to have an orgasm, and now we are able to give her one whenever she wants it (partly because of oral sex, mostly because of her vibrator). What a blessing this has been! She will give it to me a few times a year because she loves me, but I know it is not her favorite thing because of past experiences so I do not let that be a sticking point. We spent 17 years of our marriage in almost total abstinence, and now we have sex about two times a week, so I am blessed by her healing and I will not let her slight reluctance to give me oral sex get in the way.
  • Oral sex was common before we got married (no intercourse), and briefly after the wedding, then she decided she didn’t like tasting herself on me afterwards and is germaphobic about my penis and won’t even half-heartedly perform oral on me unless I’ve just had a shower and even then it is very weak and not worth it because it is so bad compared to expectations and desire for better.
  • with me having E.D I love to make her feel good and curl her toes but when it comes to her doing me its all about her attitude, my tiredness again if she is in loving sexy mood its awesome If not well id rather not. also I love to do her oral as foreplay or finish every time her body is intoxicating. if she does me more of foreplay rather have intercourse finish
  • I don’t know what to say to support her. I’ve tried to be clear and let her know how much I do/would feel loved by her Oral Sex for me. My thoughts result in thinking I’m not physically desirable enough. Another concern is that her lack of honesty about what is preventing her involvement is due to past circumstances/experiences with someone else other than me (but I’m not accusing/suggesting she is unfaithful… abuse perhaps – that thought terrifies me!)
  • I haven’t pressed on this, at least not in my opinion. I’ve essentially given up on asking her for liveliness in bed. I’m just now preparing a talk with her that will include liveliness and openness in bed. Cunnilingus will be an item that I touch, with expectation it is mentioned again so that eventually it can be discussed and hopefully enjoyed. I haven’t been able to get her to speak of it long enough or clearly enough to understand her reluctance. I have never discussed fellatio, because I don’t need it. I may broach the subject later on to allow for mutuality.





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