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Sexual Slang

198 women and 423 men answered
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NOTE: This survey is about words some will find offensive. To avoid problems with filters and being indexed wrongly by search engines the words show in images only, not text.

slang-1

  • 95% of women and 96% of men were willing to do the rest of the survey.
  • Being more serious about one’s faith slightly increased unwillingness to see the words. Of those who are not following Jesus or say it’s not a big thing for them all were willing to see the words. This dropped to 97% of those more serious about their faith, and 95% of those most serious about their faith.

 

© surveymonkey.com

© surveymonkey.com

 

  • Men were more likely to report neither spouse uses words while women were more likely to report both use words. This was most pronounced for the harder/strong words. As always, our female population is more sex positive than church going women in general, while our men are closer to the norm.
  • It was rare for a woman to use a slang word if her husband does not use it. It was uncommon but less rare for the man to use it if his wife does not.
  • The “c” word for female genitals was the least used word, with 7% and 10% of couples using it as reported by women and men respectively.
  • The words for sexual arousal/desire and orgasm were the most commonly used, occurring in 81% to 88% of marriages.
  • Being more serious about following Jesus made only a minor difference for the softer words, and a moderate difference for the hardest.
  • The most common “other word” was the “d” word for penis. This and “tits” were the only words that showed up frequently.

© surveymonkey.com

  • Men are more likely than women to use words that offend their spouse. Five percent of women and 1% of men said this happens now, while 13% of women and 2% of men say it happened in the past but not no longer.

 

Women’s Comments:

  • I still find the use of "p***y" and "cock" make me uncomfortable.
  • I hate the F*** word & wish he would stop it... Total turn off
  • These are terms we just use when speaking about sex to each and during sex.
  • I find the p & c words for female anatomy truly offensive. That said, I wish there were better nicknames for that area. It seems like there are more options on what to call male equipment than female. (Not surprised, though. Since we have such other language quirks like no real male version of "slut" or "whore," and men getting insulted primarily by insulting their (female) mothers -- "SOB" and "bastard." I'm not one of those ladies with chip on her shoulder, always looking for slights, but honestly the English does favor men in some ways.)
  • I think it's erotic, sexy and sexually stimulating to use these words with my husband in our marriage.
  • We have our own words. The words mentioned here were never a part of our vocabulary.
  • We are very much on the same page when it comes to the words we are both comfortable using.
  • We have only started using some of the "dirty talk. Before it was offensive and we didn't want to defile the marriage bed. We have been much more adventurous in the bedroom and just recently decided to explore talking like that to one another only during sex and just between he and I. My husband had a significant problem with pornography the first couple of decades of our marriage but has satisfactorily dealt with the issue (Thank God!) I have read a lot about this problem and through much prayer have prayed about how I could better meet my husband's needs as long as it isn't anything immoral or against God's standards. I believe men, in particular, have a large need for lots of variety. While I understand dirty talk isn't for everybody, I think it added a little variety and spice to our love-making.
  • Because we don't use these kind of words in regular conversation, during sex they greatly heighten arousal with the degree of passion being conveyed.
  • 22 years.....I just try to keep his hateful behind happy and give him some every now and then. I just overlook the words he uses. Most of the time I'm going over in my head all the other things I need to do. Tip for the husband's, especially if your wife works too....help out. And don't complain about it. Do it because you love her.
  • Love naughty talk from husband at any time.
  • We came up with our own sex terms & pet names for genitalia as well.
  • My husband and I met at work in a "man's career field". I had to learn to be hard to offend. By the time we were intimate, there wasn't much that could scare me. We've lowered the use of language, a lot, as we've matured, but there are still some pet words we keep in our alone time. ;)
  • The words used are only when we are talking "dirty" to each other. Regularly we are not foul mouthed. I actually cannot stand people who use foul language as part of their average daily talk.
  • I find slang a turn off. It have the same emotional response as when people use silly names for genitalia, such as calling a penis a "willy." It feels childish and like someone's ashamed about sex--and far from sexy.
  • We use some pet names that we invented more often than slang. It's funny to think of keeping our language PG when we are in fact having sex, but it's not like we become different people who suddenly use words that denote hurt or insult.
  • I'll be honest. "P***Y" is not my favorite word, but I can't think of anything better to call it that isn't medical!
  • Most slang words are trash talk. We don't do "trash" in our marriage bed. We do loving and caring, we do fun, giving, sometimes serious, sometimes playful or goofy, most times tender, sometimes sacred. MORE talking is something that would cool, but your aforementioned words are usually spoken with the purpose to insult, humiliate or deprecate our God-created bodies. Maybe those are someone's idea of fun and turn on. I feel that they are disrespectful of us, as children of God, and our bodies, made in His image.
  • I know some Christians will disapprove of the use of the f-word, but I personally don't know that it is wrong. We use it only with one another and we use it to mean exactly what it actually means. We (I?) have chosen not to use slang for body parts. I don't know if maybe my hubby wishes we did, but I find them to be a turn off. I guess they just feel juvenile to me. I guess that makes no sense that the f-bomb is an exception, ha, but there you have it.
  • Some of the "never use" words are indeed not spoken. But I certainly think them in my head and wonder what he would think if I said it out loud. For some reason, thinking them helps me get more excited. But I worry about being one of those old ladies who use language that shocks and embarrasses their kids who say "Mother never talked like that." That's part of the reason I don't say them out loud- I don't want to get accustomed to using such language. Because I am a lady and I don't use language like that. But I'm afraid having them in my head will do it anyway.
  • I don't use any of the listed words in normal conversation. Only when speaking to my husband about our sex life and mostly only when talking dirty to him. I'm not comfortable using them with others as part of my normal vocabulary.
  • The best compliment my husband ever gave me was the morning after a particularly hot night of sex he blushed and called me a slut and told me that he didn't need to imagine other women because I did it all.
  • I am a very reserved modest person but am trying to get outside of my box for my husband. Maybe using some of these words would be exciting to him. Maybe you have a post about how to start using words like this.
  • I don't use the word p***y, but it doesn't offend me. He also says boobs, but I prefer breasts. Makes them sound less like objects.
  • We only use these words with each other and in the privacy of intimate moments and conversations.
  • I don't feel that this is a Christian issue, it's a comfort issue. However, people in the church because they're uncomfortable with these words make it a "Christian" issue.
  • He has said he is gonna 'breed' me during really good sex. Breed is West Indian slang for impregnate. As soon as I hear that I get turned off. Not sure why. Maybe because it has always been derogatory for a nice Christian girl to breed... really weird since other words don't have that effect.
  • We don't use these words all the time, but every now and then for some spice, they're good. We've discussed what words are ok with both of us and what are not, and are generally agreed. Even if we didn't, neither of us would use a word if it offended the other. Sometimes one of us has used a word at a given time and the other has said something like, "No, not right now," and we don't use it for that given night. Just depends on both our moods.
  • We don't use the words selected often; more of funny descriptions that make us laugh, not for seriousness. We usually use the word "fun" in place of sex. "Let's go have some fun," "This massage might just lead to something fun," etc. It makes it easier to talk about in front of other people if you want to get away but don't want to specify why to others, and it makes sex seem more enjoyable in words. F*ck, c*nt, etc, these words are seen as harsh and even crude, so using these words is almost hurtful. The other words, like come, hand job, blow job, are just silly terms that make us giggle.
  • I said that he used words I don't like but I have not always expressed to him that I don't like them. I have been practicing trying to allow him to do things that he likes and seeing if I can get used to them. If it continues to bother me I'll tell him.
  • Spouse used offensive language just once, when he had had too much to drink.

 

Men’s Comments:

  • While we have a great sex life most of the time, we've rarely ever used any of this language between us. I think it partially has to do with English not being our first language and some of this slang seems very unfamiliar to my wife. Some of the words she wouldn't even know what they mean. I try not to offend her with things that would seem vulgar to her but I wouldn't mind if she was a bit more sometimes. :)
  • I love it when she talks like this. She doesn't feel comfortable saying the F word, so neither of us do. But sometimes it seems like that's the only word that describes the sex we're having at that time. What other words do couples use to describe intense, passionate sex?
  • We don't use the words anywhere else in our life, only during sex.
  • My wife and I have talked about this before and we both feel like there are certain words or phrases that communicate not just a defined meaning but also a level of passion and excitement that the more proper words do not convey. When we use these words with each other in this way we find that it builds each other up and encourages or excites each other and thus we don't find these words to be wrong to use with each other. In the proper context of a husband and wife engaging in passion, these words are not demeaning or immoral. That's our opinion anyway.
  • I've tried some words in the past (e.g. Tits), but that got a negative response and so I don't use them.
  • For most of our marriage, my wife has used very clean code words when referring to sex, er, "getting naked".
  • My wife uses many of those words, but it is only after she is very aroused. I'd like her to use them more often, even as a part of foreplay.
  • I wish we had more slang terms as a part of our sex life. We are pretty vanilla.
  • Some of the above words I would like to use, especially in the heat of the moment, but my wife gets uncomfortable with them.
  • wife hates sex. Has no use for "dirty" words---or acts--or thoughts. Is very into boring repetition and lack of variety and lack of communication.
  • What we say in the bedroom is between us. I'm sure it's been affected by culture. But these are words we reserve only for each other and we feel no shame in using them.
  • We usually just say "did you go?" Instead of "come". We usually say "make out" or "sex" instead of anything else.
  • Words are just words. Most "bad" words in English are perfectly normal words in other languages. Like the F word, which is just sex/copulate in the original. Why is that bad just because it is spoken by an English speaker instead of Norse?
  • Communication requires the Transmitter and the Receiver to Agree on the meaning of words. If I explain beforehand that if I say C**t or Slut or F*** meaning "you are fantastic" and she still hears "you are demeaning me", neither is more at fault than the other for the miscommunication. I learned these words can have a good meaning in the right context. She learned they have a bad connotation no matter what. Neither of us is "wrong". These words can express at a very primal level what I am feeling like no other words. She just hears all bad. So I stifle myself to not offend.
  • I use them more...wish she she used them more, but she does on occasion.
  • She can say whatever she wants.
  • Neither of us use these terms as 'slang' or 'cuss' words - they are only reserved for the privacy of our most intimate times together in our bedroom.
  • I'm open to it, but don't think my wife would be. Sex is too vanilla with little to nothing said during. Asking for anything is out of place, let alone using words of passionate abandon.
  • I would like if we used more words or if she were to use some of these. Right now the words that are used doesn't feel "sexy" or "free" at all. My penis is often referred to as "thing". It's hard expressing wanting the freedom of using such words in the bedroom. Not sure how to communicate that. We never use these words in the past or would consider using these words outside of our bedroom. Good survey though. Interested to see the results.
  • We don't often use the slang terms mentioned.
  • Don't talk about sex.
  • Words have changed over time. Some we used to use we don't anymore and vice-versa. Try to use words we are both comfortable with.
  • I wish my DW would be more expressive and volunteer words to express her desire, or in the heat of passion, but she does not. And yes, I have asked and have told her that it would be a great turn-on, but it makes no difference.
  • Referring to or anatomy using textbook terms is just not sexy!
  • Using 4 letter sexual slang is degrading and suggests a person at some level believes sex is more in line with evil (or at least being a bad girl/boy) rather than the truth that sex is God given and reflects Him.
  • My wife has started using more slang for sexual terms in the last year or so. It has really helped open things up in our bedroom.
  • sexless marriage .
  • It turns me on when she cusses during sex, or while teasing me during the day. She know what it does to me.
  • These words are only used occasionally during our time of sex.
  • When having sex, neither of us finds any word offensive or off limits. She usually begins dropping the f-bomb as she gets close to orgasm either as a verb "f*** me harder" or just as an expression "oh f***". P***y is really the only word she uses to describe her vagina. Never vagina or any clinical term. It's always her p***y whether talking about it during normal conversation or during sex. She likes to ask me how I like it "you like that p***y? yeah? f*** my p***y. That's your p***y - you want it?" etc. She refers to my penis as my "package" or "d**k". When having sex, it's "d**K". "I'm going to make that d**k come in my p***y. I want your d***k to come in my p***y". When we are talking about my penis not during sex, it's my "package". Funny - she has two words for mine - one during sex and one not during sex, but only one for hers.
  • We use playful terms, some are "wanna play?" or "Meet you for a rendezvous at x:00?"
  • I wish we felt a greater liberty to use some of these words. We have an otherwise very good sex life. It seems that bringing it up (the use of slang) would be offensive to her. I guess I haven't done it because I am unwilling to jeopardize what I have but in not bringing it up I feel like I am whimping out.
  • We hold our Sexual Relationship very carefully in this sad sex-saturated society. Using coarse or abusive language would violate that sacred trust and devalue God's gift to us.
  • Context makes all the difference. I do not use the f-bomb term outside of our relationship and its meaning is narrowly bounded as we use it---unlike the varied and unacceptable meanings as others use it (aggressive, male-oriented, domination-power, to hurt, etc.).
  • I have tried using words like these on occasion. It doesn't seem to offend her exactly, but it's not sexy to her, either.
  • More speaking or sounds would be good but we have kids I'd prefer just more initiative language from her that makes me feel desired other than her week following period when desire does proceed and that is rare.
  • I wish she were more apt to use these words. By not doing so, it communicates to me that she considers sex or our bodies as "dirty" or wrong. Just wish she were more open or honest and less uptight about them.
  • Still testing it out, but we have claimed words that we would not otherwise use for our personal use. So far it has been a good thing for us. It makes expressing level of desire using words easier.
  • Hard to talk about something that rarely happens and talking about it at all is a guarantee that it won't happen any time soon.
  • Some words bother her that don't bother me so I just don't use them.
  • We do use common slang because somehow using the proper medical names robs the emotional context it seems. For us it reduces it to the medical... But we try to avoid the terms that are also used as degrading words.

 

 

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