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Sex: How Often

169 women and 277 men have answered
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  • Thirty five percent of the women, but only 16% of the men said they have sex more than twice a week. In part this is explained by the fact that the average age of our male respondents was older than for our female respondents (50% more men were over 35).
  • Ten percent of the women, and 14% of the men are in “sexless marriages” – defined as sex ten times a year or less. This is lower than the usual estimate that 20% of marriages are sexless. We had very few individuals 55 and older answer, and this would have brought the number up.

Age and frequency

  • For women, ages 35-44 were the lowest sex years (these number exclude those 55 and over due to low response rate for that age.)
  • Percent of women having sex less than once a week, by age:
    • <25         27%
    • 25-34     21%
    • 35-44     37%
    • 45-54     21%
  • Percent of women having sex three or more times a week, by age
    • <25         33%
    • 25-34     38%
    • 35-44     27%
    • 45-54     45%
    • For men age related trends were less clear (these number exclude those under 25 due to low response rate for that age.)
  • Percent of men having sex less than once a week, by age:
    • 25-34     41%
    • 35-44     38%
    • 45-54     46%
    • 55+         33%
  • Percent of men having sex three or more times a week, by age
    • 25-34     11%
    • 35-44     18%
    • 45-54     16%
    • 55+         14%



There is an amazing similarity on this! More women than men want sex more than four times a week – 33% of women to 29% of men. This is not what most surveys find – the difference here is no doubt a result of the fact that our respondents are almost all very sex positive.

Also interesting is that age has little impact on how often men and women desire sex:



Comments from women:

  • I'm not happy with the relationship and don't feel close at all, so I only want it for physical pleasure and not an emotional connection (having sex 1-3 times a month). In happier times the frequency was 2-3 times a week and we were both good with that.
  • The reason we don't have it as often is because of my pain I experience during intercourse.
  • My husband would like more but only wants to have sex if I will climax. He does not want to be the only one. If we do it more than 3-4 times/week it is a lot harder for me to enjoy it because my drive is not as high.
  • Unfortunately hubby has been unfunctioning for some time now....years....too embarrassed to do anything for it, except his own remedies, which have failed. I miss sex....I am a high drive wife and he was a low drive it’s almost non-existent.
  • It isn't a matter of how often we have sex. It is a matter of how often I get to orgasm. The amount of sex is great, but I would like to orgasm more. My husband isn't much into taking the time and effort to get me there and masturbating gets old fast.
  • It's been a year and a half since there has been any intimacy. Not because I don't want it, because I do!!

Comments from men:

  • It's the most frustrating part of my marriage and she doesn't get it.
  • My wife says she. "...can take it or leave it..." and has controlled all and any physical touch for all 26 years of our marriage. Now, our marriage is hanging by a thread.
  • By the time we go to bed we are way too tired and we need to make it more of a priority
  • Spouse has no interest in sex and no desire to compromise.
  • I would like to orgasm daily. Intercourse isn't always required. My wife feels that the only way to orgasm is with intercourse.
  • It's difficult to continue to say I want it this often when I have a partner that is unwilling to do this without me begging. Thinking about approaching her for sex brings a guilty and painful response in my heart, not one of joy and promise.



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