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Sex Drive and Age

108 Women and 210 Men have answered
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  • There are no real surprises here, but it is very instructive.
  • Male’s drive starts sooner and strong.
  • Women see a dip in drive the second half of their 20’s. This is likely due to having babies and young children – something several mentioned in the comments.
  • Men’s drive peaks in the 20’s Women’s drive peaks in the 40’s
  • We had only one woman over 70 and four men, so that category is less reliable.
  • Because everyone was asked to give a six, younger individuals may have rated their early years more highly than they will in a couple of decades. This could mean the teens are rated higher than they should be, especially for women.
  • For the ages 12-15 43% of girls said their drive was zero. Only 7% of boys said the same.
  • For women the most 6’s (highest) was for age 50-54 with 64% saying it was a 6. For men the most 6’s was age 20-24 – also 64%.
  • For women over 50 answers tended to be zero or 4-6, with no 3’s or 1’s and only a couple of 2’s. A similar pattern was found for men 65 and over.

 

Women’s Comments:

  • I was interested and then desirous of sex before we got married. But then when we actually started having sex - WOW. My sex drive is now off the charts (well 6 is as high as I could rate it). Now that I've experienced having my husband inside me, the feeling of fullness when he's in me and I orgasm, experiencing him climax, my drive is higher than ever. The teasing and foreplay, both manual and oral, makes it all something we look forward to at least daily.
  • The age range 25-29 includes my wedding when I had a very high drive and the birth of my first child when I had a very low drive, not really sure how to rate it so I have put it in the middle.
  • Was married @ age 18, had a child at age 27 and full hysterectomy at age 29.
  • I have always had a high drive....unfortunately I have a husband who has a low drive....why????? So frustrating.
  • Going through menopause... Sex drive has went through the roof.
  • Dropped in 20s due to 4 pregnancies, nursing, and general exhaustion!!
  • Little sex drive during my children's early years. Now that they are getting older I feel like I am making up for lost time.
  • I'm 56
  • There's a pretty wide range in 30-39. I am 39 and the past year it has been the highest while early 30's was low. Also, I am hoping when you say "sex drive" you aren't actually speaking of having sex. In my teens, I was not sexually active with others, at all, but I was very interested in things of sex...reading articles about sex, fantasizing, masturbating, etc.
  • Sex drive was huge in the year that my husband and I were engaged. I'm thinking the fact that we were choosing not to have sex and were unable to fulfill what we wanted added to this. Shortly after getting married, I struggled a lot with feeling like something was wrong with me. All of the sudden, I didn't want sex very often. At least not as much as I wanted it before. We've been married five years now, and I can definitely say that we both love sex. We're not as ravenous as we were pre-wedding, but we do love sex. :)
  • I have had to force myself to have a lower sex drive because my husband has very little interest in sex with me.
  • Would have had a higher sex drive through my twenties but had four kids... that pretty much used all of my energy. Now that that the kids are getting older it's getting stronger.
  • Mine went up and husbands went down. Maybe due to porn or maybe due to aging.
  • It increased tremendously after I turned 45.
  • My drive took a nosedive after being on birth control and anti-depressants. I got off both over a year ago and find I have my biggest drive ever at age 51.
  • To be fair, I had 4 dangerous pregnancies and 4 children between the ages of 20 and 28.
  • I didn’t think it was possible but Sex has gotten better w/age! We enjoy pleasing each other & it's fantastic!:)
  • Perimenopause sucks! For me and my marriage. It caused a lot of tension and frustration. Happy that is behind us
  • I don't know what happened, before I ever had sex I wanted it all the time. I lost my virginity and sex was not enjoyable and became a chore now that I enjoy sex I want it but never enough to put it as a priority. I feel guilty because I know it's important to my husband but I can't seem to get into the groove for it.
  • Seems the higher mine is the lower my partners is. The lower mine is the higher his is.
  • Being on bio-identical hormone replacement therapy has made a tremendous difference. Also, my husband and I are continuing to work through recovery issues due to his heavy use of pornography for the first 23 years of marriage. Ouch! He and I are both much happier today!
  • I think my sex drive is affected not just by age, but also by life circumstances, such as how much sleep I'm getting, how much anxiety there is in my life, family situations, how my job affects me, and so on.

 

Men’s Comments:

  • I'm 35 now. I don't think it has wavered since that teen rush of hormones. I still think about sex all the time and would gladly make love with my wife daily if we could.
  • I can't discern a difference in my drive (i.e., my desire for sex) but my ability to orgasm multiple times per day has diminished in my 40s.
  • I don't think my drive has changed much over the years. My maturity level, physical abilities, stamina, desire for true intimacy vs just sex, how I treat my wife, how I feel about sex, my comfort level with her, my ability to communicate with her about our sex life, what we find satisfying and arousing, etc. those are things that have changed...and mostly for the better! So much more meaningful now.
  • I don't think it is right that when my sex drive wanes my wife's increases. It used to be the opposite. Sex is still fun and very enjoyable once we engage in it. I find my wife has to initiate the getting started more often.
  • No I'm not kidding it is the same now as it was when I was a teen. Maybe if my wife would have had sex with me instead of gatekeeping / refusing me for 34 years it might have lessened.
  • Zoloft makes it difficult to enjoy sex as much as I used to.
  • Drive was highest between about 16 & 35, still high into early 50s, but has been going down since.
  • Pray the our sex drive meets in the middle someday.
  • It has always been pretty high, but gatekeeper wife has put me into sexual starvation. Not sure if more would lessen the drive.
  • My wife first told me, and it's amazingly accurate, I tend to want sex every three days. This has been very consistent throughout our marriage.
  • Clearly drive is different from actually doing it
  • I was a late starter my first encounter was at age 20
  • Health challenges have caused an issue with sex, self-control is something that needs to be more focused on.
  • We went through a rough patch about 7-10 years in (during my 30s) which affected drive.
  • My sex drive has only increased as I've grown older.
  • I'm 44 and the last 15 years I have had the highest sex drive in my life, and I have been married 15 as well- God blesses marriage for sure!
  • Much of my 20's was spent drinking, so I don't consider my answers average. If I was sober, I would have ranked much higher, I'm sure.
  • Drive has remained high even as physical ability has declined. Causes frustration.
  • My sex drive has not ramped down even though I'm 39 now. 3-4 times a week is my goal, even though with 3 kids under the age of 5, we rarely hit more than 2 a week.
  • At age 51 I was diagnosed with low-T. I was having low energy and emotional problems and blood test revealed this problem. Stress has been extremely high for me at the church for about 2 years when doctor found problem… things have improved. My sex drive was never decreased I believe.
  • As I recall, my sex drive was very strong in high school and college. I guess I was just so busy supporting my family, growing in my marriage, etc. that sex seemed to take a back seat. Now that we're empty nester, I get to enjoy all of my wife's gifts more often and with less inhibition. We have sex a few times a week. Even if that's more than my wife needs she takes care of me sexually.
  • I am 39 now and have close to no drive anymore.
  • I fear I will always be a 6 and my wife a 1.
  • I would have to be completely honest and admit that my sex drive from a purely physical level had dropped since I turned 33. In my mind I still feel very sexual and desire mentally, but that physical pressure and drive at a basic biological level has gone down significantly. I differentiate between physical drive and mental/emotional/intellectual drive.
  • My drive is high but wife's is dropping
  • My drive seems high all the time and truly has not really changed much since I was a teen and began having sexual desires
  • Any diminish I have in drive is due to marriage problems with my wife. I definitely have lost desire due to problems with her lack of desire.
  • Off the charts, would love daily.
  • Prior to 20... I just didn't realize how easy it was or what was out there. Experience really does make a difference
  • Kind of hard to rate when it did not drop for ten years.
  • In the last few years my wife and I have resolved many issues in our marriage and our sex life and we are have a LOT more sex as a result.
  • I have always had a very high sex drive/desire. It has slipped a bit as I have gotten older but with the help of Low T Treatments it is back to near normal.
  • ;)
  • My sex drive is still high and I would like daily sex. The issue is I'm too tired to put the effort into sex every day. I do the pursuing and most of the work during sex. It's easier to just masturbate.

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