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How Do You Feel About Giving Oral?

241 women and 574 men have answered

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© surveymonkey.com

  • Given the title of the survey it’s likely our survey pool is heavy on those who include oral sex in their activates. That noted…
  • 26% of men and 30% of women include oral sex on their spouse for the majority of their sex acts.
  • 23% of men and 20% of women include oral on their spouse less than 10% of the time.
  • There was no clear age-related correlation on this. It seems oral is common for all ages.

© surveymonkey.com

  • 29% of men and 9% of women go to orgasm 90% of the time they do oral on their spouse.
  • 43% of men and 19% of women do oral to orgasm the majority of the times they do it.
  • 10% of men and 20% of women do oral on their spouse, but never to orgasm.

© surveymonkey.com

  • 64% of women enjoy doing oral sex because their husband enjoys it.
  • 35% of women enjoy doing sex for themselves.
  • 63% of women say doing oral sex on their husband makes them horny, with slightly more than half of those saying it makes them very horny.
  • 17% of women dislike doing oral sex, but do it for his pleasure. A third of those do it specifically because he asks.
  • Only 4% of women hate doing oral sex on their husband.
  • 7% said they would be okay with doing oral if he washed.
  • Women 55 and over were slightly less into doing oral.

© surveymonkey.com

  • Oral as foreplay is the most enjoyed activity for women, with half saying they love it.
  • More women “love” doing it when he’s laying down than when he’s standing, but the weighted average (showing average like or dislike) was very close.
  • 37% don’t like him to ejaculate in her mouth, with 21% hating it and 16% disliking it. 15% have never done it.
  • 40% don’t like swallowing, with 28% hating it and 12% disliking it. 19% gave never done it.
  • 30% don’t like deep throat, 17% hate it and 13% dislike it. 20% have never done it.
  • With the exception of oral with him lying on the bed and 69, women over 55 were less likely to say they loved doing these things. However, they were no more likely to say they hated doing them.

© surveymonkey.com

  • 14% of women say their husband asks for oral sex too much. This includes 4% who like doing oral sex and 3% who have refused but still gets asked.
  • Women over 55 were about twice as likely to say their husband asks too often.

© surveymonkey.com

  • 70% of men enjoy doing oral sex on their wives for themselves
  • 66% enjoy doing it because she enjoys it.
  • No men said they dislike or hate doing oral sex on their wife.
  • 84% of men say doing oral on their wife makes them horny, with the vast majority saying it makes them very horny.
  • Almost half of men would do oral on their wife more often is she let them.
  • There were no clear age-related differences here.

© surveymonkey.com

  • Most men are totally into every aspect of doing oral on their wife.
  • Oral after intercourse was the only thing that got any “Hate it” replies at 6%. It also got 2% dislike it. At 43% this was also the only one with an untried rate over 10%
  • With the exception of 69, men were more likely to say “I love it” for these with each increase in age range. The difference totalled out at 10 to 12 points total, but was consistent.
  • For 69 there was a slight drop in loving it with age, from 67% to 54%. There was a corresponding increase in feeling neutral about it.

 

Women’s Comments:

  • I like giving my husband oral as foreplay leading to intercourse. But, I feel totally inadequate and uninformed as to giving him oral to orgasm. I have tried to ask what feels good for him, so I can improve. But he just says what you're doing and doesn't offer any suggestions.
  • If only semen tasted like dark chocolate and had the consistency of Hershey's syrup, my husband would be getting all the oral sex he could handle.
  • I wished oral sex was a bigger part of our sex life. It seems my husband likes to receive but rarely wants to give.
  • Pre-ejaculate is too salty, and when semen fills my mouth it makes me gag. I also gag a lot the closer he gets to orgasm. There are also relationship issues, so giving oral to the point of him orgasming almost feels like punishment. Maybe in a healthy relationship, I would look at it as a normal sacrifice and do it more willingly because I know he likes it. But in our relationship, I can't help but feel a little used.
  • I know God created sex and oral to bring us closer together and I wish I knew what was stopping me from being able to pleasure him the way he wants.
  • Love giving and receiving:))
  • I used to give my husband oral ALL the time- the last year I haven't as much because I've had really bad jaw problems and can't hold my mouth open than long without intense pain. But I do miss pleasing him in that way.
  • For us, oral for each other is a regular part of foreplay. Sometimes we desire to have him finish that way but most often we don't because we much prefer him to finish in me PIV. Oral and manual are great ways to "edge," the results of which we both love. Because of his size and my gag reflex, I can't do "deep throat" and he understands that.
  • Giving my husband oral is something I think about all the time. I love it. I am disappointed when he doesn't want it, I want it that much.
  • I am a wife who answered "never." We are newly married (2 months) and have enjoyed just getting to know each other and PIV intercourse. He has given me freedom to do it when/if I'm comfortable, but he hasn't asked for it straight out (I don't think he would, just because he'd want the best for me and let me decide). We figure we have lots of time to play around, so I'm sure we'll get there.
  • I love going down on him. Sometimes he orgasms in my mouth. Sometimes just on me. Sometimes we do it as foreplay but most of the time I just do it because I really want to. I really like going down on him after his shower before he leaves for work. Not only is it a good way to start the day but it gets him thinking about me all day so when he comes home from work we are both ready to hit the sack for more fun! He returns the favor but I usually would prefer to go down on him then him on me. I like my orgasms but I really like being in control of his.
  • I get my sex wishes in return from him
  • Remove horny... from words you are using Just totally dumb expression that I would say only under twenty might use .. I am a big promoter of alternative sensual words to describe sex and the body And... I am a relationship research writer
  • I only wish I would get it in return.
  • We both enjoy oral giving and receiving. Sometimes as foreplay, sometimes as the main event. My only issue is sometimes he wants oral to climax without reciprocating but performing oral turns me on so much is hard to not want to finish too.
  • My husband is more than willing to give oral so the least I can do is reciprocate.
  • In general, I really enjoy giving orally. My husband at the time did not enjoy giving or getting. This caused huge issues. If I'm in a committed relationship with someone, it's very much a part of our sex life.
  • I only dislike it because of the effort involved.
  • When he plays with me while I am performing leads to my climaxing a lot sooner.
  • He hates it.. He says its evil.. O haven't met a man like my husband in my life.. That doesn't like oral.
  • This is a second marriage for both of us. In my first marriage my ex wanted oral all the time and wanted to finish in my mouth only and he could be very forceful about it. He viewed porn and this was a huge influence for him insisting on this from me. My current husband likes receiving oral from me but has never ever asked to orgasm this way. I finally asked him if he didn't like what I was doing and why he never wanted to finish that way. His response was that he LOVED it but for him finishing through intercourse is the ultimate! And the factor that he needs a little more time in between sexual encounters and we have only the weekends available to us due to long weekly work hours makes it so he would rather use oral as foreplay only and come together through intercourse for orgasm. He loves taking me to orgasm through oral and often does so before intercourse since I cannot climax during intercourse except with a bullet vibrator. My first husband never ever gave me oral or tried to help me orgasm, so this took a little getting used to on my end when my loving husband first performed oral on me. He says it's his favorite thing to do.
  • I've grown to enjoy this activity more as I've learned HOW to do it more effectively, both for his pleasure and for my comfort. (Also, "oral sex" is too narrowly defined at times as "putting the whole thing in," when a number of husbands would be thrilled for her to simply kiss or lick the shaft or to lick or suck the head. If that's TMI, edit out this part in parentheses.)
  • Sorry, just don't like oral giving or receiving. Too much emphasis is given to this act and no one should be made feel guilty or bad if they don't like it. Too much pain and sorrow around us in this world to worry about who likes or does not like oral.
  • I've never given him what most would consider real oral sex, but have kissed his penis to climax. I always make sure to cover it up so that I don't get any of his ejaculation on me. I find it gross and don't want it in my mouth. When we were dating there were a couple times I felt pressured by friends to do more, so I attempted putting his penis in my mouth. He produces a lot of pre ejaculate, so one taste of that sent me gagging. I'd likely give him oral sex if it wasn't for that, though I would still not want him to ejaculate in my mouth.
  • It really depends on my mood... there's times I enjoy it and the eroticism of it, and there's times I dislike it because I feel forced or I feel he's being selfish.
  • Mix of Oral and MS is the go to when PIV is off the table. Once in a while, DH will ask for Oral as part of foreplay and rarely does he ask for Oral in place of PIV.
  • It took a few years before I felt comfortable enough for my husband to climax in my mouth. I was always scared I'd gag but in reality his semen is blood temperature and I only realise he's climaxed because he usually shudders. At that point I keep swallowing and honestly don't even notice the semen in my mouth. It leaves a very faint but sexy taste and I just associate it with passion and intimacy so I welcome it.
  • I do it because he enjoys it and I feel wrong to always not do it. I would not do it if I felt I really had a choice. I feel I don't have a choice as he would be hurt and offended. We went years without it being included, but one night after years of asking, I did it and then it was known that he always desired and I get tired of feeling I deprive him of what only I can give. I wish he would not desire it, and he does not pressure or guilt me into it. I do that to myself. I find I have to really be in the mood to do it, and can't bring myself to do it if I am not really into it or turned on a lot. I try not to use it as a reward sort of thing, but sometimes I wonder if I do. I am more aft to do it if we have had sex twice in the week opposed to only once. Maybe because I feel more connected and valued and free to give back?? Not sure. Hope this is helpful.
  • I have sensory problems with hair in my mouth, which makes me more cautious. Also semen makes my mouth itch.
  • Always been a part of our lovemaking, so him asking for it is never needed. It feels like a natural way of expressing love to my husband.
  • He loves a good oral performance on my part. It makes him happier and I love pleasuring him. I now do it so frequently that I know what he enjoys and what gets him off. Only time for a quickie? Start to finish in 3-5 minutes easy. Plenty of time for a tease? I can make him last till, well, whenever I am done and ready for him [Of course, the hands and the breasts certainly help my jaw during these extended sessions]. Then again, I have never had the aversion to oral that other women seem to have. And to be perfectly frank, many days I am just not in the mood for sex at all so a quick 5 minute oral session to get his mind off sex and onto something else I prefer at the moment is absolutely worth it. Win-Win!
  • I love giving oral, but usually don't like him to finish this way because it means we won't have intercourse. If he finishes through oral, I view it as mostly about him.
  • We almost always "begin" with oral. It gets me, umm, turned on and usually wet. I don't always continue until he has an orgasm for different reasons, could be my neck or back hurts depending on what position we're in. I always enjoy it but he assumes we will start with that every time. Sometimes I would kind of like it if we started differently. It seems like I have to be responsible for getting myself turned on, ya know? He is very gracious and wonderful about it. I wanted to add something that wasn’t on the survey. When, for various reasons, I can't get him "there" through oral alone I sometimes feel defeated. I think maybe I'm not too good at it. He says, "just keep practicing. I dont mind." :)
  • Funny thing, I used to do it because I thought he wanted/liked it, even though I found it rather unpleasant. Then I discovered he really didn't want it at all! The three reasons I had thought he wanted it were all false. However, he much enjoys oral on me and I do, too!
  • My husband once went down on me but it was just for a few minutes and then he moved on to intercourse. He later told me he had done his and I was yet to do mine. I balked at that point. I'm not a fan of oral though, but I could give it a try once I know it's not some duty I have to perform.
  • We will be celebrating our 20th anniversary soon, and it is only in the last few years that I have learned to love giving oral. It drives me crazy to see him turned on that way. It gives me pleasure to pleasure him. I am not at the place yet where I can swallow very much, only if I am close to climaxing is it possible for me to swallow. He lets me know when he is close, and will finish on my chest, which is awesome, too!
  • We used to perform oral on each other, but he put a stop to it 8 years into our marriage. His only explanation was that he didn't like it, never liked it, I am not very good at it, and I take too long (when he performs oral on me). About all I can do now is give it a quick kiss.
  • It is much more pleasant when he's trimmed & freshly washed, but usually there's still an odor that's a little off-putting and difficult for me to get past. I also really wish he would be more verbal/vocal if he's enjoying it - he's usually very quiet and I feel like I'm not pleasing him so I get turned off and give up. A lot of times he could tell I was bothered then and commented that it was feeling great to him and how lucky he felt, but at that point I'm feeling rejected and the mood is just gone! When he's pleasuring me I can't help myself and am very vocal, so for him to be silent really sends me a message of disinterest. I don't know, maybe he thinks if he moves or makes noise I'll quit. But just the opposite- the few times he has moaned or said something or started touching me like he was enjoying it, those times are soooo much better and actually get me turned on!!
  • I don't enjoy giving oral. I never have. I only do it for him and mostly because he has iffy erections and the oral stimulation seems to work best for him.
  • I like giving him oral because it makes me feel powerful and I love being able to drive him crazy like that. Swallowing has never bothered me, but I know so many women who struggle with it, so I feel as if I like it more now knowing that not all women do, if that makes sense. My husband does need to be clean, however. We use it as foreplay almost every time. My closest girlfriend will not perform oral on her husband without a condom. I personally don't like that AT ALL. I prefer the feel of his skin.
  • It's not for everyone but it is a wonderful way to connect with my husband and I enjoy doing it.
  • I would love to try oral on my husband, and before we were married, he said it was something he had really enjoyed with other girlfriends. But in the three years we've been married, he's never let me do it, even when I've offered or asked to. Honestly, the idea of swallowing sounds kind of disgusting, but the act itself seems really cool (playing with his "member" really turns me on) and since I haven't tried swallowing, I can't judge accurately how I would feel.
  • In the beginning of our marriage I had very little problems with oral on occasion. A few years into our marriage my husband had an ongoing affair with the woman who was supposed to have been my best friend. Our marriage managed to survive, but sex in general has suffered since the affair, and I took oral off the realm of possibility for a very long time. Probably a bit passive/aggressive of me...
  • As long as he's clean and not smelly, I find oral mildly enjoyable. As foreplay. Honestly, I hate the taste/consistency of semen in my mouth, so I do have a hard time with wanting to finish him that way. And swallowing just makes it worse.
  • I love to pleasure him. When he moans it makes me wet. We have been together since we were 19. We dated 4 years and have been married for almost 23. Sex has gotten better and it's an escape from a busy life with 2 teenagers! I love my kids but we look forward to being empty nesters!! Thank u for your blog. It is a blessing. A----
  • I do oral more often since I am past menopause and just don't get into the groove at bedtime. Also I need to find a slipperier lube than coconut oil now, because even slicking up with that does not prevent painful entry. It is easier for me to avoid entry all together in the evenings.
  • I worry that he wants it due to past porn use, & now that I give it to him, he can't orgasm without it.
  • Making him horny makes me horny. It takes the pressure off of when it's just him trying to make me ready. That's how it use to be and I'd always orgasm but now sex is so much more enjoyable since it's not all about him touching me.
  • I love to give him pleasure, especially pleasure that only I am allowed to give him. I feel sexy, beautiful, desirable as I feel him grow big and hard in my mouth. I love to feel his hands in my hair and his thrusts against me as he orgasms. He has ED and can’t penetrate any more. He can still have a meaningful physical relationship with his bride.
  • If we are both really into the sex and really turned on then I don't mind it and have even actually enjoyed it at times but otherwise it don't really like it...not sure why :/ wish I liked it more and wanted to do it more since he likes it so much.
  • I've never done it (or received it) and there were no questions as to why. But I haven't been able to bring myself to. My husband never asks and he's very unselfish, so I don't know that he would. We talked about it as a theoretical once (I brought it up) and I told him that I couldn't yet. Maybe eventually.
  • Flaw in survey - Assumes men can climax with oral and no choice for otherwise. In over 10 years, he has never been able to climax despite a very strong sex drive and no other problems. He knows I hate it but do it for him, and says he just can't do it. I feel sorry for my husband when he gives it to me but he says he loves it. I find giving embarrassing even though my husband tells me that I couldn't possibly please him more I do it so well. I intentionally sit on top of him or strip or do anything to get him to want to get straight down to business instead of a long, leisurely, 30 minute oral session like happens sometimes since I dislike it so much, but if he asks, I will and never say anything negative about it.
  • Honestly it never even occurred to me, till way after the fact, to consider oral sex (within marriage) wrong. It's just so natural to go there ;)
  • I have been married for almost 17 years and did not do any oral on my husband until we had been married for 8 years. I didn't do it for him and I didn't let him do oral on me. I have come a long way since then. Now I regularly enjoy doing that for him (and he does it for me).
  • I have never done it before and will never do it.
  • Wish he'd do it for me!!!!! I loved it when he used to. I told him but didn't seem to care.
  • I guess I'm one who has always liked oral, both giving and receiving. I've never understood so many Christians' aversion to it/problem with it, so long as it's done in the confines of marriage. The reason I put dislike on 69 is because I like to be able to focus entirely on my husband, or him on me. 69 makes that harder for both of us to do, and my husband feels the same as me about it, so we don't do it often.
  • While I like giving oral, I don't do it too often because I never get oral in return. If I did, I'd do it all the time. I'd even let him finish in my mouth, if he'd return the favor. But our sex life has gone downhill, in recent years due to his medical issues, so I don't expect this to change.
  • As I've gotten used to it, it doesn't bother me as much as when we were first married. I really hated it at that time, but didn't tell him because he liked it so much and wanted it so badly. While I've gotten used to it, I'm still unwilling to try deep-throating, as I have a sensitive gag reflex, and have thrown up in my mouth a couple of times from regular oral sex.
  • I love doing oral for my husband, but the salty taste is the biggest struggle for me...I feel embarrassed to say anything to him because I dont want to hurt his feelings. Otherwise, I'd do it all the time. He does *shivering* *toe curling* oral on me and I so desire to be as good as he is. :)
  • I love giving oral and my husband love receiving it! He is very generous as well! <3
  • In the early years of our marriage I didn't enjoy any aspect of oral - giving or receiving. It felt wrong to me. But as I have let go of inhibitions and walked the journey of discovering true sexual intimacy the way God intended I have now come to love it. It is a fun part of our foreplay and used for maximizing each other's pleasure but intercourse for orgasm is still valued much higher by both of us.
  • Husband hasn't touched me in a year
  • I can't handle the taste. If he never pre-ejaculated, I could do it out of love, but the pre-ejaculate makes me want to throw up, so when I do it, I just feel like dirt.
  • We don't do oral too much, even though we both love it. Guess we're in a hurry for our favorite parts. When we do it, it's usually as foreplay because we both enjoy our orgasms much more when we orgasm together and he's inside me.
  • I have put some "conflicting" answers in here because sometimes I really enjoy it and other times I really don't want to but he asks so I go through with it. Hard to predict how I'll feel about it on a given day. When I'm in the mood for it I do enjoy it. Other times it feels like a burden but I do it because he asks. On those days I wish he wouldn't ask, but to be fair to him he's not constantly begging or pressuring me for it.
  • I also dislike receiving oral
  • I wish there was a better way to deal with the ejaculate. I like giving my husband oral when I am having my period to give him release until we can have intercourse again. I want him to enjoy the full experience to climax and I don't let him know that I don't really like the semen in my mouth but I am not repelled by it enough not to let him climax in my mouth. I have a towel nearby to spit into subtly while he basks in the afterglow. I don't like to swallow it. I lay quietly for a couple minutes and then go to the bathroom and rinse out my mouth. Giving head is fun but the semen not so much.
  • Doing it more often, makes it easier and makes me more comfortable doing it. Would love more instruction on ways to make it better for him (he gives some, but "it (everything) feels good" isn't exactly useful)

 

Men’s Comments:

  • She will not do oral on me, but LOVES me doing it on her.
  • While I am very willing to give her oral, she has somehow become apprehensive. Despite my inquiring she hasn't shared why her change.
  • Church training has been terrible, no "encouragement" from clergy about, the joy of sex, the joy of masturbation, the joy of oral sex on the woman, the joy of oral sex on the man, the joy of oral sex shared in a 69, because the world is to teach sex to us. When the world teaches, the acts become all screwed up. Just my 2 cents worth.
  • I want to do it more, but she says she doesn't like it. She says it is just her, not me. She doesn't like to do oral on me. I ask and she know I love it, but does it only a couple times a year.
  • I really should start to talk with her about it! I think she still beliefs that everything “down there” is more or less dirty, but I love the taste and smell. I'm dreaming very often of giving her oral till completion together with our vibrator!
  • Wish she would let me....
  • I enjoy giving oral to my spouse. She never asks for me to do it. It only happens when I tell her I want to give her oral.
  • I wish my wife loved giving oral to orgasm as much as I did.
  • I really wish my wife liked oral sex more. She doesn't really want me to give it to her. I've asked if it's because I'm not good at it, but she claims she enjoys it the few times we do it. I suspect it might be because she believes that I'm only doing it in order to get it in return, which is not true.
  • We only are intimate 1-2 times a month because she has 0 desire.
  • I could not answer the 69 because she won't give me oral.
  • Been married more than 40 years. Remember the first time she let me go down on her like yesterday. It was her idea. She pushed me down without words. I knew what she wanted, and it was freaking amazing. Lately, she doesn't want me to, even though she is multi-orgasmic, and then so aroused, IC seems better. There is A LOT of fluid, and it makes everything feel better.
  • I am wishing that she would open up on this and other activities. I am actively working toward more open discussion on sexuality generally. I also am trying to build discussion on other areas. Sexuality is just one area that needs attention.
  • I find that giving oral is a turn on for me, I think I am more positive than my wife, but as I would tend to climax before her, it is something that hopefully brings her towards climax more than it brings me towards climax.
  • We currently have a sexless marriage. Oral on her used to be nearly every time we had sex. Now she claims she never liked it despite climaxing nearly every time. The menu of acceptable activities has steadily declined to the point that we just don't have sex anymore and I hate that.
  • We used to give/receive way more. Something changed for her that she won't/can't articulate, so we almost never do this anymore. I'd love to give and receive every time, but it's something she is against right now. I'll be patient and see if that changes back.
  • My wife used to enjoy it when I performed cunnilingus, but something in the last few years has made her decide she doesn't want it anymore. She seems to enjoy giving me oral sex (and I enjoy receiving it) so I'd like to reciprocate, but she almost always declines. We have done 69 just a few times, and while it was some of my favorite sex we've ever had, she said it was hard to enjoy because she couldn't focus on just giving or receiving.
  • My wife doesn't climax via intercourse, so performing oral sex on her is the best way I know to give her an orgasm. We work together to make sure that she has an orgasm whenever she wants one, sometimes manually and sometimes with oral. This can be at various times during our love making (sometimes at the beginning, sometimes we interrupt intercourse, sometimes after my climax, etc.). It's about loving her, not imposing my will or agenda on her.
  • 69 is hard for height disparity and areas of access. My wife will O but she says its natural response but does not like It is one of most intimate I love how she tastes and her aroma. Love making like worship should involve all senses: sight, touch, taste, sound, scent Being wanted in this way is a goal and inhibits my full satisfaction She feels it's wrong and on occasion will say I wish the bible was more explicit so it was not Even a conversation point. She has no issue doing on me other than she doesn't want me to finish in her mouth.
  • Wife is very passive, have no idea if she likes it or not.
  • I am always open to giving my wife oral. She has to be "in the right mood" or she is uncomfortable about it.
  • Love the way her body reacts to when I do oral, Love her scent, Love her taste.
  • Although we have both always performed as typically like oral, we continue to learn how to get better. I incorporate toys while doing oral and my wife has recently been able to completely take me in for longer periods.
  • I have done oral on her often after intercourse but only once after I had finished in her. I often want to do it until I climax and then lose the desire. I wish she would "force" me to or sit on my face so I don't have a choice. The time I did do it she had not ran off to the bathroom right away and after 5-10 minutes my desire returned and I performed oral on her. She went wild and had at least 2 more orgasms. We 69 almost every time before we have intercourse as part of our foreplay.
  • Yeah, washing (for both of us) is good... More often would be great!
  • My wife and I love oral!
  • I have apparently done such a good job in convincing her how much I love giving OS that she will receive every single time and never even think to return the favor. We just went an entire year with no OS for me whatsoever. I wish she knew just how one-sided and lonely this felt.
  • We use FLAVORED Lube.
  • I wish it was reciprocated. But I won't push it.
  • I prefer to be between my wife's legs when I have oral sex.
  • Giving and getting oral is WONDERFUL!!??????????????????❤
  • Please contact her and tell her more of this is better!
  • I love giving oral to my wife. She doesn't though like giving though, not sure why. Every once in a while I'll ask and she would. We did 69 once, but I'm nervous to ask again because of her reaction.
  • Done it twice in 15 years. Both times within a couple days of each other more than 10 years ago. Keep hoping she'll let meet do it again.
  • It is great having oral sex with my. I wish she would have me do more.
  • I love performing oral on her but she rarely lets me.
  • I would love to provide oral more often and to orgasm but my DW has a hard time relaxing enough to allow me to do it. I think she feels very self-conscious and is afraid she'll need or be expected to reciprocate. I've tried repeatedly to assure her that I love providing oral and that there is no expectation of reciprocation. She knows I desire to receive oral but she is extremely reluctant to give it. So it continues to get in the way of me providing oral for her even though I really desire to express my love, acceptance, and enjoyment of my wife in this way. Still hoping for a breakthrough in this area even after more than 35 years.
  • Doing oral on her after sex feels like doing it to myself but before I love it
  • It is very rare that I get to do this. She is very uncomfortable with this act. I believe that she views her genitals as 'dirty'.
  • She used to enjoy it, but about ten years ago it was like flipping a switch. All of a sudden she stopped letting me go down on her. I have offered numerous times, but get shot down and can't get her to talk about it. I really miss this part of our life.
  • My wife thinks she doesn't like receiving oral sex as she can't stand her own smell. But when I give it to her occasionally anyway, she loves it. She still has never asked for it, but it is part of a husband's duty to recognize when she would like it even when she has a mental block against asking for it.
  • I love doing oral on her, and she usually loves it too. But I've learned that she longs for intercourse to feel me inside of her, and that orgasms through oral are nice, but not a substitute for the main event, and that its usually best as foreplay to actual intercourse. When we were younger, I wanted her to experiment and offer to do oral on me sometime.. especially after I had showered and were anticipating intimacy.. (thinking that part of her reluctance was aversion to thoughts about hygiene) but I never wanted to push her into doing it if she was not comfortable. So bottom line is, that, in 22 years of marriage, it has never happened. Sometimes I still wonder what it would be like, but I have come to realize that, like my wife, I long for the actual intercourse part even more as we are both "sharing" the pleasurable feelings at the same time and it's more of a bonding and fulfilling thing. I believe that's how God intended it to be, and why he invented it this way. Not that oral is necessarily bad or evil.. just not a substitute for the main course.
  • I'm a bit mystified as to why my wife no longer cares about oral or being touched there. She has made it clear she won't give me oral but it seems like an effort for her to even give me a hand job. Trying to work that one out. She knows I get a lot of pleasure from it.
  • She really doesn't feel comfortable with it because she doesn't like me having full control down there. But she knows I really really like it and want it. And we've had conflict over the years because it's something I want that is an action on her. She's willing to do actions on or to me if I want it, but feels it's unreasonable for me to want to do things to her for my pleasure. And I get that. So a year ago, I introduced the idea of me "tasting" her as a sex act. She straddles my face so she controls the contact and duration and it's just for me. She seems to enjoy it when we do it, too, probably because she's in complete control. Now... We still don't do it as often as I would like, but she does offer it for special occasions. It's a win in my book. I wish I had thought of it a dozen years ago! I've tasted her more times in the past year than all the years before combined!
  • I love giving oral to my wife. She doesn't enjoy it like she used to as she says that it brings her to climax too fast and that it isn't as good as climax from intercourse.
  • Wife does not orgasm. Period. Not from oral, manual or PIV. She'll let me do oral on her for about three minutes. Then she's over it.
  • My wife and I both have plenty of middle age spread so 69 is not easy. We enjoy oral as part of foreplay, she likes me to take her right to the brink of orgasm and then insert and she can climax with me.
  • The wetter the better. I love alternating between piv and oral as we are making love. It drives her crazy. I would more often be she is often too sensitive for my mouth.
  • It hurts she won't let me go down on her anymore.
  • As a nurse, my wife doesn't like to receive it if she hasn't yet showered for the day and only gives oral to me immediately after I shower usually during 69. I am fine with these parameters!
  • We did this in the past, but a while ago, my wife declared that she never really enjoyed it. I think at least some of it is due to the fact that it was going on during a time when we weren't communicating well able sex and, absent feedback, I did things that she didn't really enjoy. I hope at some point we can try again, with her giving feedback, but for now I just respect her wishes and don't bring it up. She's happier doing other stuff anyway.
  • I love to have the opportunity to do it and watch her enjoy!
  • I am separated for almost two years right .ow, trying to win my wife back. She was often not comfortable with oral at first, but seemed to grow in comfort with it over time. Eventually she cut off all sex and then any affection before leaving. It was a surprise and quite crushing for a .number of reasons.
  • This is an area that is a real struggle in our marriage. My wife has a real hangup about this, and even though I absolutely enjoy doing this for her/us, she is not willing to. In the few times that we have in the 25+ years, she never allows me to continue to complete her orgasm. I would be willing each and every time that we had sex, but it just isn't in the cards.
  • My wife has to be in a particular state of mind. If she's not there, any oral or manual stimulation is out of the question. Some hang ups due to medical problems growing up.
  • Never tried.
  • After 43 years of marriage she is still uncomfortable with the idea. I think at our age it would be helpful in getting her to climax. I don't think she has freed herself from her Catholic upbringing to be in a place where she can actually choose to enjoy it or not. I think because she knows I enjoy it, the last time I offered she allowed me to try and pleasure her for a few minutes. But then she wouldn't let me kiss her because she didn't want to taste herself.
  • It brings a great deal of excitement to our love making.
  • I wish we would do it more often we do it about once a month also wish she would ask me to keep her shave down there that would encourage me to want to do it more.
  • I love going down on a woman. I always have. I love the taste and feel of her on my lips. I love feeling her build then climax. I loved it all. I would gladly go down on her multiple times a week or more if she'd let me. One of the cruel things in life is that she doesn't like it. She doesn't like the focus on her, she doesn't like what she thinks is a lack of intimacy, and she doesn't like the "pressure" to climax even if I do all I can to say there isn't any. Regardless of how much I try, this has been one of the biggest points of contention between us. We have finally worked out an acceptable balance. I am allowed to go down on her as foreplay on a semi regular basis and at least once a month I am allowed to take her to climax. Her sexy initiative call is usually "Ugh. I guess you can." And yet, even with many many years of this fight I still love it.
  • Would provide this for her all day long. All night long. All afternoon long. Sadly we are still working through lots of bad programming in her youth... can't touch this, don't put that there, don't even think about this, that, or the other thing. Sigh. I'll likely die before she lets herself enjoy it.
  • I hope she reciprocates someday soon.
  • Oral is the ultimate act of intimacy.
  • I love giving and receiving oral sex. We both enjoy it and it makes for great foreplay!
  • My wife has never given me oral. But that is not a problem I don’t care. I LOVE giving her oral pleasure. I would gladly do it every time we made love if she would let me. A year or two back she stopped letting me give her oral with no explanation. I wish she would let me give her oral again. But I don’t think that is going to happen any time soon.
  • I want to learn more in marriage bed, I believe it will help me build up my marriage style.
  • DW used to let me do this for her but now, in older age, she does not let me even get close to doing this. Very sad for me as I love to take care of her.
  • I always love giving oral, but especially when she is really wet, plays with/tastes herself as I do it, and/or after I ejaculate inside of her.
  • I really want to go down on my wife during sex but, after I climax inside the feeling goes away. Why is that?
  • Due to menopause and extremely decreased libido it seems we now have to "get it on" quickly after foreplay before the mood passes, so therefore oral is something of the past, at least for now.
  • I wish we had oral in our marriage bed... I would love to go down on her and bring her to climax and just feel those hot wet lips in my mouth... I would love to feel her warm wet mouth on my penis... She is not in to oral at all
  • My wife and l have seen 25 years together (High school sweethearts... I had graduated and she had a year to go) last June. We are waaaay more sexually adventurous and active now (in our early 40s) then we were then (in our early 20s)... As it relates to oral (back then) we tried it liked it, but never really added it regularly... Months would go by and we wouldn't even do it. It was good, but not "better than sex" I guess... (The sex was great...) Now though... The sex AND the oral are great! EVERYTHING got better with our age... I love performing oral on her, and (I guess in our maturity) she became more vocal on what l do and really caters the experience to her liking (as she should). I have a "thing" that l do that she swears l learned somewhere (and l honestly don't know what it is...) and it gives me sweet life that l have a "move" like all of the pros..! Consequently she even asks for it on occasion..! I think the beauty inherent in me and my wife's oral sex life lies in the fact that we have only had sex with each other... So, in fact, our new found love for oral is, in effect, finding of ourselves as new lovers... #Cheesy but works for us..!
  • My DW used to love it, and let me do her to orgasm most every time. At some point, things changed and she did not want to do me anymore - but I was happy just doing her. Eventually, she stopped letting me do even that. The reason she gives is both cleanliness and disease. She believes that she gets ill more often if we do oral - even if it is just me doing her. Also, no kissing after oral, sometimes for days. On this subject, I miss the earlier days of our marriage when she loved it and let me do it all the time.
  • Giving and receiving oral is great for foreplay. Receiving oral is second to intercourse for me. My wife prefers those in reverse order.
  • I think oral is a great option on the menu. I wouldn't want it to be the only thing, but if PIV weren't possible, oral is an awesome second. It's also a great finish when other things don't quite work. As foreplay, the main dish or dessert, it's great.
  • She will not do oral for me, saying I smell after sex with her. She enjoys getting but refuses to provide.
  • I love doing oral sex with my wife because it is an expression of my love for her. I love her aroma, I love her taste and I really love it when she gets really wet. I love doing it more solo than 69, because I can concentrate of pleasing her.
  • Love 69, usually pre sex. Have not done oral after sex, may have to try.
  • I think she avoids it because she doesn't want to feel she has to do it for me. And she never has done oral on me.
  • I love doing oral on her. But she oftentimes will feel self-conscious and won't want me to go down on her. Doesn't matter what I think or want. Also doesn't give me much feedback on technique or how best to pleasure her. Would appreciate more reciprocation from her.
  • My DW has no desire to experience an orgasm. I would do it for hours if it brought her to orgasm.
  • She stopped letting me give her oral after her hysterectomy. She has never given me oral. I miss going down on her. It was great!
  • I love pleasuring her and seeing her completely overcome with my loving her. I love the smell, the view of her torso, her breasts and her face from down under. It took much patience to get to where she would consider it, but well worth the wait. I only wish we would do it more often (never enough). Best book about it - "She Comes First". I like "French-kissing" but I like this ("Australian-kissing") the best.
  • Love giving my bride oral pleasure. Love her taste and smell. Love the intimacy and vulnerability.
  • I do oral on her almost every time. She rarely lets me finish her with oral anymore. I used to it a lot when we were younger. I'm not sure if I am able to give her an orgasm that way anymore.
  • She doesn't feel the same about oral on me as I do about oral on her.
  • I love to give and receive but my wife is much less bothered about either.
  • I truly love giving her orgasms, and it's the best foreplay to get her ready for intercourse. For many years though, it was a completely one way street and I became very bitter about it to the point that I wanted to stop.
  • I would love to do it more but she never lets me anymore. It has become an issue as it is something I love to do. I wonder why she won't let me and she says it's just because and won't really answer.
  • Sadly she doesn't let me do this for her as often as I'd like to. This is the easiest most consistent way for her to orgasm.
  • To put my answers in to full context, in 16 yrs of marriage, we average sexual contact 3-4 times per year. There may have been a year or two when we had sex 6? times, while other years only once.
  • She let me perform oral sex on her a few times before we were married, it used to get her very hot and horny. After getting married, she completely cut it off and won't allow it. I loved doing it on her and also got very horny from it.
  • I personally love giving oral and hearing her orgasm and feeling her muscles clinch up.
  • I love giving and receiving oral. However my wife hates giving oral and it's become a sensitive issue for me. I love giving it and she loves it when I do give it but it's not being reciprocated and it's frustrating. I no longer do it until she does it for me. Then the next time we have sex I do it for her. Childish? Maybe however it's hurtful to give of myself and the for her to be selfish in that way.
  • Wife has decided after our third child that she doesn't want it anymore.....
  • I love giving and receiving, just wish both happened more often. My only request is for her to shave.
  • Oral on my wife is great - I really love giving it. If she has recently shaved/waxed that makes it even more enjoyable. Never really finishes with an orgasm though which is my only disappointment. Will keep trying :)
  • It's my favorite thing!
  • We haven't successfully made love in months I want so much more but we aren't in a good place in our marriage and I have not been able to perform..
  • I will do anything in service to her pleasure, but her lack of desire hinders what we do and has prevented us from experiencing many of the items on your list. My only other comment is that it's been hard for me to give her oral pleasure for all these years when she refuses to return the favor for me. She gets upset if I decline to give her oral on occasion but she has no issues ignoring my desire for oral completely. Doing this for her without bitterness is becoming a huge challenge for me. I wish she had even a small amount of enthusiasm for pleasuring me as I did for her.
  • Definitely not enough oral in our relationship. Mostly because she dictates the terms of what happens during sex. I would do pretty much anything she would want but she only ever wants basic sex. It's frustrating.
  • While my wife enjoys oral sex, she prefers to orgasm from intercourse. Oral sex is a regular part of our sex life; however, it doesn't occur during each encounter.
  • Unfortunately, my wife is uncomfortable with giving or receiving oral sex.
  • My wife dislikes 69 because of the height difference, and she orgasms much quicker than I do. I love performing oral sex on my wife, it is my favorite form of foreplay however my wife prefers not to climax from oral if intercourse is going to follow immediately and orgasms from oral are so intense for her that she doesn't enjoy her intercourse orgasms as much and has to fight harder to achieve them.
  • Pubic hair is a big turn off for oral. Love to give her oral if she shaves or even just trims. The smell and taste is very sexy and it drives me wild to have the ability to drive her wild. However, it really kills the mood if I am choking and coughing on a hair down my throat.
  • We both love oral sex. It's one of our favorite acts of foreplay. I really love making her climax orally. I always start out wanting her to make me climax orally, but most of the time can't turn down vaginal penetration. For over 18 years we have enjoyed and continue to enjoy just about every form of sex we can imagine, with just the two of us.
  • Feasting in her garden is a very special please for both of us. It is a fairly regular part of sex for us and her encouragement has helped me get a lot better.
  • My wife has let me do it to her a couple times but it's very rare. I would love to do it more. I also wish she would reciprocate...
  • I love her scent and her taste. And she loves that I love it. Oral is the only sure way to bring her to climax. We tried 69 when we were younger and much more flexible, but over the years, it has become geometrically impossible. There are plenty of other fun ways to compensate for that loss, however. About 10 years ago, we read about female ejaculation via oral and we tried some new techniques. Old Faithful Geyser in the bedroom! ?? With this new knowledge, she now squirts about 2/3 of the time, and now she wants oral every time we make love, which is fine by me.
  • She will not allow any oral play. She thinks it's all gross and dirty regardless of physical cleanliness. I strongly desire oral sex and I often pray that it would become part of our intimacy.
  • I love oral as much as intercourse.
  • Wish she was an enthusiastic doing oral on me as I am with her but none of us are perfect :)
  • I absolutely love going down on my wife. There isn't a single aspect of it I don't enjoy. The scent, the feel, the taste, the texture, hearing her sounds of pleasure. I can't imagine making love to her and not being able to perform for her.
  • Love giving oral to my wife!
  • Prefer it most when fresh from the bath from foreplay all the way.
  • I love everything about giving oral sex to my wife.
  • I used to do it all the time. For some reason a few years ago she quit letting me do it. She feels it is gross and unchristian. She used to orgasm every time I did it. It made me feel very close to her. Not being able to perform oral sex on my wife makes me feel sad I miss it very much and wish we still had that level of intimacy.
  • I absolutely love to perform oral for my wife. I can't imagine not doing it.
  • I love oral sex giving and receiving. Early in our marriage we did it semi frequently, but as years have progressed it is almost never. I usually have it ask to give it to her, which i enjoy doing and I have stopped asking because she does not seem to want to. She says it might make her gag. I don't even remind her that it never did before.
  • I'd do it more often, but she is very concerned about her body chemical balances, especially in the warm weather when her body is more delicate. I'm hoping that with autumn coming, I can do it for her more often.
  • My wife really seems to enjoy it when I give oral, but she always seems reluctant to let me do this regularly. In fact, the first time I brought her to orgasm orally I kind of took her by surprise as she was near climax from manual stimulation from my hand when I went down unexpectedly and finished bringing her off orally. Still she never asks but seems to enjoy oral at least for a moment or two when I do it.
  • love it!
  • I wish I could tell you how much time I have wasted day dreaming about doing oral on her after I have ejaculated PiV, but I can't seem to get the job done after I lose my drive...any suggestions?

 

 

 

 

 

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