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How Do You Climax?

200 Women and 402 men have answered
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When you and your spouse have sex, what percentage of the
time do you climax one or more times from each of the following?

 

FEMALE

more than 90% of the time

75%-90% of the time

50%-75
of the time

25%-50%
of the time

10%-25% of the time

Less than 10% of the time

Never

Intercourse no
added stimulation

9%

8%

8%

8%

6%

27%

36%

Intercourse with added stimulation

36%

18%

8%

7%

9%

13%

11%

Oral Stimulation

24%

8%

6%

10%

9%

17%

28%

Manual Stimulation 

27%

18%

10%

9%

7%

18%

12%

Self Stimulation

18%

4%

7%

7%

9%

15%

41%

Sex Toy

18%

7%

4%

6%

4%

13%

49%

Anal Sex

5%

1%

2%

3%

2%

10%

80%

No Climax

7%

4%

5%

8%

17%

46%

14%

  • For women intercourse with some form of added stimulation was the most common way to orgasm.
  • Oral and manual sex were the second and third most common.
  • Self-stimulation and use of a sex toy were fourth and fifth.
  • Two thirds of women sometimes climax from intercourse alone, but only a 25% do so at least half the time they have sex.
  • Eighty percent of women never climax from anal sex.
  • Half of women never climax from a sex toy.
  • Forty-one percent of women never climax from self-stimulation.
  • Twenty-eight percent of women never climax from oral sex.
  • Sixty percent of women climax more than 90% of the time, while 7% climax less than 10% of the time.

 

When you and your spouse have sex, what percentage of the
time do you climax one or more times from each of the following?

 

MALE

more than 90% of the time

75%-90% of the time

50%-75
of the time

25%-50% of the time

10%-25% of the time

Less than 10% of the time

Never–

Intercourse no added stimulation

59%

15%

8%

5%

4%

5%

2%

Intercourse with added stimulation

30%

6%

5%

4%

12%

24%

18%

Oral Stimulation

9%

2%

2%

6%

8%

29%

43%

Manual Stimulation 

9%

3%

5%

5%

12%

43%

22%

Self Stimulation

4%

2%

1%

3%

5%

25%

59%

Sex Toy

4%

1%

1%

1%

3%

13%

76%

Anal Sex

3%

1%

0%

0%

1%

8%

87%

No Climax

1%

0%

1%

0%

3%

39%

55%

  • For men intercourse alone is the most common way to reach orgasm.
  • Intercourse with some added stimulation was the second most common for men.
  • Oral and manual stimulation were the next most common.
  • Eighty- seven percent of men never climax from anal sex.
  • Three fourths of men never climax from a sex toy.
  • Fifty-nine percent of men never climax from self-stimulation.
  • Forty-three percent of men never climax from oral sex.
  • Ninety-four percent of men climax more than 90% of the time, while 1% climax less than 10% of the time.

 

Women’s Comments:

  • These answers are based on recent months. I can, and used to, climax from no outside stimulation often, but we have gotten where we often don't have much time, or too lazy to focus, so we use a vibrator to speed things up significantly. I also CHOOSE not to climax via OS or MS because that makes the actual act of intercourse not very pleasurable for me. I could climax that way, but I stop things before I do, so that I can enjoy and climax via intercourse.
  • Not climaxing by choice, not ability.
  • I can only climax when I'm on top - but I climax 97% of the time this way. (If I don't it's because we didn't have time to finish)
  • The numbers are more extreme than they have been. Our third baby is 6 months and this one seems to have thrown my libido out the window.
  • Five years ago my answers would have been different to questions 5 &6, as reaching orgasm used to be very easy and quick. Lately it is more difficult to orgasm, even with oral sex and toys. My husband is very good to me and very patient. He is a champ and very willing to work hard to make sure I achieve orgasm(s).
  • We've never had anal, so I put never. I can be in the mood and mentally rest for intimacy, but then he "tries" to manually stimulate me and I feel nothing. It's so frustrating, we've been married 7 years and it's like he has no clue what I like. And I feel like I'm masturbating when I do it myself... I guess this is why we are in counseling.
  • I've never used sex toys or had anal sex so I put never for those answers. Plus I have never self stimulated myself during sex with my husband.
  • My stats are currently "off" thanks to breastfeeding a very wakeful baby, so my body is too physically exhausted to get there and my hormones alone make orgasm nearly impossible (it feels like). It's pretty depressing for both of us. We're hoping these stats change significantly when she is weaned! Ps. I wasn't sure if a vibrating ring counted as "extra simulation" or a "sex toy," since it can't be used alone without my husband. I counted it as extra stimulation, which is often times the only way I can climax at the moment.
  • My life changed when my husband convinced me to let him use a vibrator on me during sex and oral sex. I went from non-orgasmic to being a woman who can enjoy an orgasm (or two) nearly at will. Please ladies do not be afraid to try one!
  • Married to the most selfish lover ever. I give him anything and everything he wants sexually, including things I've never done before in my first marriage. This is, of course, when he actually agrees to have sex.
  • The best, surest way is a first climax from manual, oral, or a vibrator and then subsequent climaxes with him in me and maybe a vibrator on my clitoris. That gives me a combination orgasm that rocks!
  • I climax during anal sex, but not from anal sex, the same as I climax during vaginal sex, but not from it. That answer didn't fit in the question above.
  • We were virgins when we got married and are still learning, but enjoying the process. I am almost always able to climax if I want to, but I don't always want to.
  • I put never on ones that should say not applicable. Not every couple used toys or engages in anal sex. Also, my husband removed oral and manual sex from our sexual repertoire about 10 years into our marriage because he said he didn't like giving or receiving either. But when he did give me oral or manual, I climaxed more than 90% of the time. It is a bitter loss because now I only climax about 30% of the time and mostly when I self stimulate during intercourse.
  • It takes self simulation except the times that oral works but it happens 98% of the time. If it doesn't happens is because I'm exhausted.
  • Hubby doesn't incorporate many of these into love making which is why I answered never. I can be very orgasmic with plenty of foreplay but that doesn't happen often. I get duty sex which isn't as enjoyable as it could be.
  • My husband and I care a lot about each other climaxing, so we aim to climax every time!! I do require a little self stimulation each time as intercourse doesn't always do the trick, but it's intercourse and stimulation together, never separate.
  • I have a hard time reaching an orgasm. Find it hard to communicate to husband how to do it. And my drive is a lot higher than husbands so it's frustrating that he can every time yet be interested only once a week or less. Hard for me to wait that long and then to only climax once every 2-3 months is very difficult.
  • We do not use sex toys husband does not do oral sex on me we never have anal sex we never use manual stimulation during sex other than foreplay.
  • His lack of lasting long enough to even get me going is a huge problem. Lack of foreplay, he’s terrible at going down on me and our sex is boring. I would rather diddle myself and avoid having sex with him.
  • Never receive oral stimulation, never have used sex toys, and do not have anal sex.
  • Spouse can't get an erection so we never have "normal" intercourse.

 

Men’s Comments:

  • My wife and I have an awesome sex life... We met at 16 and 17 and today are 40 and 41. Our sex life has never been better or more frequent... We both always orgasm. When we were young we would orgasm together. Now, she usually goes first (while I think baseball or pineapples so I don't finish too soon lol.... Sexy wife problems lol...) We are nearly up to everyday of the week now... (At our worst it was at least twice...With Sunday as our "guaranteed" day. We can even fight and have sex...) We don't really do manual stimulation, but I had to mark it because (after 4 kids) I never finish inside of her... Whether through regular sex or oral, we always finish manually or with rubbing our bodies together. I dropped the condom about a year and a half ago and would never wear one again. We are thinking and talking seriously about exploring anal and toys, but I don't know... I LOVE our sex life now. Intrigued at where it could go from here...!
  • We only do intercourse or oral/manual on her. She doesn't like oral on me, so never does it. We have never done anal or a sex toy, so can't really respond to those. But for the most part, we both climax every time we have sex.
  • We have physical limitations so intercourse is difficult. However we have sexual activity that leads to climax for both of us 3-6 times a week!!! God has blessed us in the art of pleasuring each other!!!(Just because you 'can't do it" doesn't mean you "can't do it!")
  • I am able to climax any of the ways listed 90%+ of the time when that is the method that I choose to climax. The problem for me as a guy is that only twice in my life have I had more than one climax per session. My bride on the other hand gets to climax as many times as she wants. The down side for her is that she is primarily receptive to intercourse (with or without additional stimulation) and manually, occasionally a sex toy will work. She has never gotten any arousal from oral and is too self-conscious to stimulate herself in front of me.
  • I always do, she has a hard time, so we have added a vibe and we delay intercourse until she climaxes. Sometimes she climaxes with intercourse with the vibe too. No on the anal, but I would like to try someday, she is not there yet.
  • No sex toy. No anal sex
  • I focus more now than in the earlier years of marriage on her pleasure. Her orgasm is very important to me now, and do not happen often. But, when she makes the noise that she is climaxing I don’t last long. Time breathing changed and a soft moan escaped by her lips.. I was done for.
  • There has been only a couple times no climax and that was after oral on her as she climaxed and then "didn't like the way she felt" I have at times had ED in longer sessions or if I'm on my knees. DW almost always we do her first. It's clitoral. I'd not be into anal ever and not thinking if do toys either.
  • On #5, the never choice seems to mean that, "when we use added stimulation of any kind, I never climax but there wasn't a choice that said I do not use added stimulation at all during sex which is a different thing altogether.
  • To be more accurate, this survey needed response options of 1% and 5% not just less than 10%.
  • Sexless marriage for 4 years
  • Only climax through intercourse (never by oral/manual/self/toy/anal when we're together). Don't climax maybe once or twice each year - almost never. Climax almost always feels amazing - just a pity she hardly ever climaxes with me (she likes to finish by herself with vibrator afterwards usually :( ). PS Also, her climax at any time is almost always totally silent - is that usual/normal ? Always wondered ...
  • My wife like to make me climax all the time and I like it as well.
  • Occasionally (once or twice a year) as I push into my forties I sometimes can't orgasm, but it's due mostly to us starting sex too late at night with an early morning looming, or the room being too hot, or something else that makes us decide to just try again the next night. Often these occur when it's a night she's decided is just 'for me', but then she'll get turned on and we end up turning a quickie into a much longer event (no complaints though! this is a great problem to have :D ). Fortunately my wife is amazing and I know that unless there's a serious reason, tomorrow night is always an option, so when one of us remains unsatisfied, we know it's not 'the end', but rather 'to be continued....' so these instances are not disappointing. My wife is also great about acknowledging that sometimes sex is just about me, either in the form of oral sex, or a handjob, or maybe just quick intercourse. When we were first married I really struggled with this, feeling like I was taking advantage or using her, but we've communicated through that and I love that she's willing to prioritize my needs once in a while.
  • We only do PIV.
  • When younger would easily climax from interiors alone 90% of the time. These days it takes a bit more work to get me there,, either with added stimulation from my wife during interiors, or some manual stimulation from her, or self stimulation to finish myself as we cuddle after her climax..
  • We used to do anal, but that stopped years ago at my wife's request. She said it was painful and she was no longer sure it was something we should do. She used to do oral, but that stopped when she was diagnosed with cancer and it spread to her throat so oral became difficult. We still have sex once a month or so even though it is painful for my wife and her breathing is difficult because of the tumor in one of her lungs. She always uses a vibrator to reach a climax.
  • My wife isn’t much into stimulations e.g. oral anal etc. I’m somewhat interested in oral but she turned off by male discharge in her mouth. Additionally her moaning and talking sexy during sex is a fantastic stimulation.
  • Never have oral sex. Manual stimulation only for one minute or less then she wants intercourse. Near sexless marriage.
  • I would really like to add more variety into our sex repertoire but find it difficult to bring up. We try other positions, but always ends with orgasm thru penis in vagina intercourse. Oral & manual for me are foreplay only, but I'd like them to be the feature attraction once in a while.
  • Oral and anal questions are skewed because they are not offered/allowed. The with and without manual stimulation question, I answered with manual stimulation as a separate not in exclusion of the without question.
  • Questions 5-10 not applicable because those additional practices haven't ever been part of reality for my spouse and me when we have sex.
  • Wife and I have a pretty awesome sex life.... She is able to come about 95% of the time from penis in vagina sex. We have been married 21 years and we have been able to figure out how to connect physically to be able to stimulate her clitoris when I am inside. Then again she has always been super easy to bring to orgasm. Sometimes I wish she was not so easy to bring to orgasm but then we read about how hard it is for some women and we are glad she climaxes so easily. All I can say is I get as much joy and pleasure out of her climaxing as I do from my own climax.. I make sure she has been satisfied to her fullest before I climax.
  • My wife is sensitive to semen in her vagina (it often burns for hours later) so we practice the withdrawal method, just not for both control. I usually get right up to the edge, but there's still at least a few seconds of manual or self simulation. (sometimes we use condoms instead) Ignoring that, intercourse alone would be closer to 75% of the time.
  • Well, hard to answer since we only have sex 4 times a year or less, and nothing in the past 14 months.
  • We normally have oral sex because we enjoy it, but my wife wants me to climax in her during intercourse.
  • Excellent topic! I found it surprising, since a man can always climax (or so I've heard), that I can get to a point where I know I'm not going to climax that time. It's difficult for my wife to accept that it isn't anything that she's done wrong. I try to reassure her, but sometimes, I simply can't get there.
  • Never using toys, or do oral or anal...
  • My wife climaxes from oral 25-50 percent of the time.
  • Aside from foreplay where she touches me far less than I touch her... I always orgasm from Intercourse. She usually needs a toy to finish after I am done
  • Sorry my spouse has no interest to visit TMB :(
  • I have never had a problem with failing to climax at least once. More than that can be challenging but it's great when it happens.
  • Due to medical condition and related medicines reaching climax affects me. There are times when the sex is awesome and I still can't climax. There are times when the sex is awesome and I climax just as I enter her. It's a hit or miss. If I didn't have the medical condition and related medicines I would climax every single time with no problems.
  • Due to illness and fitness level we rarely engage in vaginal intercourse. Our normal is mutual manual (by hand) to climax for both.
  • I wish I could have an answer other than 'never' for a lot of these questions.
  • Some of these, like oral sex, are so uncommon that I can't accurately answer the question. Normally sex is plain, with no other simulation (at least none for me). She doesn't like foreplay or afterplay because she doesn't like sex and just wants to "get it over with." She doesn't get into it, so she gets nothing out of it. I would prefer it if she was the one who climaxed most of the time instead of me. Or better yet: both of us, from a variety of methods instead of just intercourse.
  • These questions read like they're of the form "Do you have this type of sex? Does it make you climax?" Kind of an uninspired motif. Anyway, I always do, and we don't use toys much for sex itself (those are for before and after). She doesn't always, but does often enough that claims to be satisfied.
  • As we age, nearly 60 now, I am finding it necessary more often to have more stimulation than intercourse provides. So far, this additional stimulation has come from manual. But I'm hoping the list will expand as the need grows.
  • Little confusing... I'm guessing this away asking if we have oral or manual as foreplay, etc.?
  • Would love to climax from oral and anal ... She's open to talking about trying it but hasn't pulled the trigger just yet.
  • Manual stimulation is a key part of our foreplay. When actually climaxing there is no other stimulation than PIV.
  • My wife suffers from chronic pain which makes it impossible for us to have PIV sex more than once per week. We do other things during the rest of the week to remain close and sexually connected.

 

 

CMBA

Christian Marriage Bloggers Association