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Got Sex Toys?

291 women and 524 men have answered
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© surveymonkey.com

  • Answers were very similar for men and women on this one.
  • One couple in ten uses sex toys most or all of the time.
  • Slightly more than two-thirds of couples currently use sex toys at least occasionally.

 © surveymonkey.com

  • The gender differences here are in part due to the women taking the survey averaging a decade younger than the men do. Younger individuals generally had experience with a greater number of sex toys.

 © surveymonkey.com

  • For women the favourite toy was an egg or bullet vibe, followed by g-spot vibes, then rabbit vibrators and heavy vibrators tied for third. Vibrating dildo and vibrating cock rings rounded out the top five.
  • For men egg or bullet vibe was the top choice, followed by vibrating dildo and rabbit vibrator tied for second. G-spot vibes were third, We-vibe forth, and anal toys and vibrating cock rings tied for fifth.
  • Women’s top two choices were rated more highly than men rated any toys.
  • The lowest rating were for pumps. Men gave both penis and vulva pumps a .1 rating, while women gave -.08 for vulva pumps and -1 for penis pumps. These were the only negative ratings given.
  • Men and women rated non-vibrating dildos rather differently.

© surveymonkey.com

  • Those who have stopped using sex toys were asked why.
  • The most common reason was just falling out of use for no specific reason.
  • A third of men “blamed” their wife not feeling right about using them, but only 15% of women blamed themselves. (The age difference between men and women may be part of the reason for this.)
  • Other reasons for women included new marriage, no longer needing a vibe to orgasm, and changes in relationship or sex life.
  • Men’s other reasons included wife has no interest in her own pleasure, impure thoughts, and learning to have sex without them.

 

Women’s Comments:

  • We use a variety of sex toys and find that they really help us have an enhanced experience. I started using Ben-Wa balls a few years ago after our second child. I keep them in most days for several hours while I do chores or run errands or shop. I can even keep them in while exercising. I find that the feeling of the balls in me increases my desires. Also, I've noticed that my vaginal muscles have regained much of the tightness that was lost from childbirth. My orgasms are stronger and stronger and even seem to last longer and I often have multiple ones. And my sensitivity has increased as well. I can actually feel my husband's ridges as he moves in me during intercourse which I never could before. My husband says that he too has noticed that my contractions are stronger and tighter and that he can really feel me squeeze him when I orgasm which he enjoys a lot.
  • I have a hard time reaching orgasm from penetration alone and when my husband stimulates me manually it can take quite some time so we use a clit vibrator regularly. I usually climax from the vibrator on my clit but do need to feel something in me when I climax. If my husband penetrates me with his penis quickly I am satisfied and can sometimes climax more. Alternately, using a dildo or my husband’s fingers to fill me while we use a vibrator on my clit gets me to the first climax and then when my husband penetrates me I can sometimes cum again while my husband finishes. We've tried "couples" vibrators like the We-Vibe II but my husband says that they are uncomfortable and prefers to feel nothing but me surrounding him when either of us climaxes. Also, we have a hard time keeping it on my clit when I need it to finish. Small clit vibrators like the We-Vibe Touch and Lelo Lily work best but are hard to hold in place in close face-to-face positions like missionary -- they work best in rear entry positions (doggie, reverse cowgirl, bent over a chair arm, etc.) or positions where I can lean back (me on top, him standing at the edge of the bed with me on my back, spooning, etc.) so one of us can hold the vibrator on my clit while my husband is inside me. We have also tried vibrating cock rings but the feelings and results were similar to using "couples" vibrators.
  • We bought a Hitachi magic wand but haven't really started using it. I got it because I thought it would give my husband's hand a rest, but he hasn't been in a hurry to try it yet.
  • I am the higher drive spouse and have relied on a vibrator often. My husband isn't interested in intimacy therefore he would never consider toys. When I've gently brought it up he is clearly uncomfortable.
  • My husband is a recovering sex addict. Anything we did or used in the past is very hard to incorporate into our "healing" marriage. Makes everything feel dirty now because of the past circumstances. Also, very hard to rebuild in this area--I know he is bored, but wanting him/us to build intimacy & not using images, toys, etc. Please pray for our marriage to be healed & whole--very hard building trust & intimacy.
  • We have used a variety of toys over the years. They help me have as much fun as my husband.
  • I believe the marriage bed is a holy place God created for husband and wife, sex toys are not something I believe God wants for us
  • I would like to, especially since I can only climax with both G-Spot and clitoral stimulation simultaneously. However my husband feels insecure about it, making him feel not enough. It's a struggle. Props to him though, since we last discussed it and I expressed my need he has attempted many creative ways to help me get there. I'm thankful for his labor in our marriage bed.
  • I find that vibrators don't provide the precision touch that I need to fully enjoy sex, and my husband has good staying power so the cock ring he tried didn't really help in any way.
  • We use toys to enhance our sex life. There are times that we don’t, but toys make it more exciting and fun!
  • I'm open to it but I think he's against it.
  • 5 moths married love sex and what it does for us to bring us closer
  • I'm a pure romance consultant!??
  • Caesarean section left me numb, and the only time I can achieve orgasm is when we also use a vibrator.
  • It is an inanimate object. I want my husband inside of me, not an object.
  • Vibrating toys feel great but they really make it hard to climax with your partner without them once you get use to using them. Therefore I say vibrating toys take away from the intimacy.
  • We have been looking at vibrators and plan to order one this week.
  • The marriage bed is undefiled. Adding toys is part of intimacy. My husband love it and so do I.
  • We have talked about it and aren't opposed to sex toys, but we have never actually used any.
  • It would be clearer if you specified "used on me" or "used on him." Some things I really dislike for myself, but I'm happy to use on him.
  • I'm a Pure Romance consultant. My goal is to help strengthen marriages by educating and empowering women. I would love to share our products with you.
  • Used to use many toys but it led to us focusing on the wrong things during sex instead of what God intended for it to be. So now I only use one to help me climax.
  • I really enjoy vibrators. Sometimes it's the easiest way for me to climax. Don't really care for cock rings on him. Don't have much experience with anything else. I wish we used toys more and had a more adventurous sex life.
  • I can't climax without vibrations during inter course. We use the vibrating cock ring almost exclusively, with me on top. Would like to try the we vibe. I would really like to climax in the missionary position but can't do that with the vibrating cock ring. Thank God for these little gadgets. Without them I would almost never climax.
  • Used to use a lot more variety of toys but have pared it down to what we both enjoy best.
  • The toys, (vibrator or dodo type) were helpful in my reaching orgasm. My husband says I take a little more work to reach orgasm at that time of my life. I do believe that the longer we are married and the more mature we become in our marriage, the easier it has been for me to climax. Probably differs from couple to couple.
  • Our first experience with sex toys was at 48 years old. We are finally learning together as a couple since we are healing from my husband's 23 year history with pornography. I had absolutely NO idea! I have been busy raising/homeschooling four kids. Thankfully, we are having a blast now! Sometimes I feel cheated that I didn't have this the first couple of decades of our marriage, but I recognize that God is not only shaping my husband, but He is shaping me into the woman I am becoming. Forgiveness and Grace is powerful! Folks, get rid of the pornography and have a real, intimate relationship with your spouse! Learn and love together! Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
  • I would love to try more. I'm kinky, my hubby is vanilla. I want sex more he has zero sex drive. Very frustrating
  • I think sex toys are great when used together during sex. They help me orgasm faster and more often
  • Didn't know a couple of those toys
  • Toys are fun but not a requirement. My husband has low testosterone and diabetes which causes erectile dysfunction at times. Toys help keep us remain active during those times.
  • I would clarify that most "bullet" or "egg" vibrators are buzzy and unpleasant, but our Siri is outstandingly wonderful. Not at all like the other vibrators.
  • God gave us all the "tools" needed for pleasure as part of our bodies. Made by a perfect God, nothing else is needed.
  • When deciding what you should not have, just discuss it with your spouse and accept what you both agree on.
  • My husband and I have tried a vibrating ring a couple of times. It seems too insignificant to say, "Yes, we've used sex toys." We most likely won't ever use it again. It doesn't do much for either of us. We like sticking to just making love the old fashioned way. Toys are impersonal and get in the way.
  • Only used toys a couple of times. Mostly we find them distracting, but we are looking for the right one for us.
  • We're in recovery for my husband's sexual addiction (porn, fantasy, masturbation). While getting back to basics in the intimacy department, our sex life is more amazing now than ever before all on its own. We don't need any props...
  • Love playing with our toys!!!
  • Some of the best and most intense orgasms I've had is when we finish with the vibrator between us.
  • I sell these products! They are amazing for enhancing marriages
  • At the time I do not think we knew how to use them properly or even what to choose.
  • Hubby and I both prefer flesh over fake. We've talked about a vibrator, but I can't get past the idea that it is having sex with an inanimate object rather than with a human. Some may say it is a tool in the process, but it just seems weird to me, personally. NOTHING feels as good as human touch.
  • I am actually a consultant for the in-home romance company Pure Romance. I conduct my parties with an emphasis on married couples and I refer to The Marriage Bed website and I reference biblical information related to sexual intimacy in marriage. I try to encourage women to not feel shame and to enjoy the sexual and intimate gifts that God has given us.
  • My husband and I enjoy using sex toys in our marriage bed!
  • Curious about them but not sure if they are a good idea. Wondering if it would take away from the intimacy with my husband.....
  • I use a vibrator on my clitoris regularly. My husband has above average penis size and I love feeling him inside me but I can't orgasm from intercourse alone, even after a lot of foreplay. My husband is in his sixties and still gets a very hard erection and can delay ejaculation for 30 minutes or more of intense intercourse and even stays hard in me for more than 10 minutes after he ejaculates, I still can't finish from this alone. I need very strong clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. I can get there with intense manual or oral stimulation but this can take up to a half hour and I'm afraid that my husband will get bored or tired or both so we get out the vibrator. Deep, low vibrations on my vulva, labia, all around the hood of my clitoris and even directly on my exposed clitoris give me an orgasm in less time so we both have enough energy left to get my husband to ejaculate.
  • I think sex toys are great and we use them regularly. I especially like the newer remote type vibrators. I can have a bullet vib in me or a U-shaped vib that is both internal and on my clit while we cuddle in front of the TV or while we play cards or board games. My husband surprises me by turning it (and me) on or changing the vibrations when I least expect it. This can go on for hours. Sometimes he makes me climax this way and says he really likes to watch as he controls my pleasure from the other side of the sofa. Usually I just get really excited and we go on to more play and intercourse.

 

Men’s Comments:

  • Would like to try.
  • I really want to try them out but my wife is against them. She thinks they are sinful.
  • My wife has used a fleshlight on/with me many times when she is ovulating or just not up for sex. I have also used it many times to prevent sinning due to my drive being way higher than my wife's. It is a far better option than adultery would be.
  • She read the Good Girls Guide to Sex and she says toys are not necessary. But my wife has a medical condition that makes it hard to orgasm (some loss of feeling from MS). I would like to try it on her to see if it would help but she will not.
  • Due to age and some health issues I have not been able to have an orgasm by oral sex or intercourse for the past several years. I use penis sleeves and vibrators to achieve orgasms and my wife is very supportive in that area. She also uses sex toys and although we can't orgasm through oral sex or intercourse we still greatly enjoy our times together.
  • I am open to play with anything/everything. DW likes the eroscillator. Does not like insertables except my fingers infrequently.
  • DW has become dependent on the Hitachi and is usually the only way I can bring her to climax. She has physical issues that limit the amount of time she can stay in certain positions, and the Hitachi can usually get it done within that timeframe, while my mouth, etc. cannot. I have been able to bring her to climax with my mouth twice in the past 10 years, and only with a little help from the Hitachi to get her close before switching to oral. Very early in our marriage, I used to regularly bring her to climax with just my mouth and fingers. I can't help but feel like I've lost my touch...even though she says I haven't.
  • I would love to try, but she emphatically says no.
  • I considered suggesting this sort of thing early in our marriage, but my wife is still dealing with past abuse, and bringing material objects into the bedroom just never has been, and still wouldn't be prudent.
  • The wife got really frustrated trying to use it. Apparently, I'm the greatest sex toy ever made.
  • I've bought a couple to try and hinted strongly to her that I want to use them, but she always brushes it aside...
  • My wife has no interest in this. I would like to try but not enough to push. If I did, she probably would but it's not worth it if she is not really interested.
  • Would like to try but doubt wife would be open to it. Hope the survey results will open up some discussion.
  • Don't like her using them in secret
  • I would like to use them more on my wife but she is not a fan.
  • It’s come to the point where she won't orgasm unless we use the vibrator. Need some teaching on the danger of dependence on the vibrator.
  • We recently got the We-Touch and it's our new favorite. My wife needs intense clit stimulation to reach orgasm and the low rumbling vibrations of the Touch seem to work best. We primarily use the Touch to reach my wife's first orgasm and then follow with intercourse until she climaxes some more and I climax. Clit vibrators can be hard to hold in place during face-to-face intercourse. We also have some Lelo toys and using the dildo shaped one without turning on the vibrations gives my wife the sense of being filled she desires while I stimulate her clit with the We-Vibe Touch. I've also just used two or three fingers so she can feel filled and I can feel the contractions of her fist orgasms of the session. We have not had any luck with the "couples" We-Vibe or the Lelo equivalent. Those types of toys seem to crowd the space and have caused me (the man) some real discomfort. I think I am of average girth but they have actually caused bruising -ouch! We've also tried vibrating cock rings but I guess we move too much to have the vibrations really effect my wife's clit the way she enjoys. Bottom line, toys are part of almost every one of our lovemaking sessions.
  • Would like to try a few of the options listed, but have not purchased anything beyond a vibrator. I know my wife does not have any issues trying some new things, a little at a time.
  • One word...Glass!
  • When we separated, the toys became replacements for each other. Now that we are back together, we use toys sparingly as a supplement. We have a good sex life, and the toys are not a threat to our relationship.
  • Toys have made our sex lives great and has kept us excited about our sex lives.
  • We-Vibe is the only toy we have tried at present, and boy, do we like it! My DW resisted toys for years and years, but now that we tried We-Vibe, she loves it! She is still resisting any other toys, and doesn't see any irony in that.
  • We have a dildo and Lily vibrator that we take on vacation, but use only once or twice while away. We might use them once a year otherwise. My wife rarely is in the mood to add them to our time together. But in the times that she's requested the dildo while I manually stimulate her, it sends both of us over the top!
  • My spouse and I have tried a number of toys over the years, gotten rid of most of them, we now prefer to use a vibrator that can be placed between us so as to vibrate on her clit during intercourse.
  • Would like to use vibrator or c-ring but haven't had the courage to bring up to my wife, and don't want to surprise her with them. Any ideas?
  • I am open to using them. Wife is not.
  • A recent add on has been a vibrating butt plug. Amazing though I have tried it on once and actually my wife who is not into anal play tried it last week and said "not bad".
  • I'm open to sex toys, but my wife is not in a place where she is open to them. When I have even started to bring the subject up, she has shut the conversation down. I think there are times, situations that they could help, but she's not in the right place for that now.
  • While we have used them in the past, not at all anymore...we seem to so pleased with just one another's body that toys are necessary for fun. Once in a while we might use something just to stir things up a little but it just not needed/desired on a regular basis. Maybe some light s&m/bondage or spanking now, that's about it.
  • Our toys are rarely used. We like them, but usually just end up enjoying each other without them.
  • Typically use plain vibrator on her clitoris with internal stimulation by larger sized vibrating and non vibrating dildos for multiple orgasms. When she is satisfied, we engage in intercourse or stimulation for me.
  • Sex toys never took the place of each other, it was just an addition to the fun.
  • Would like to try many more, but wife is usually reluctant to experiment.
  • Wife uses toys alone more often than with me. Says she gets horny in the afternoon while I am at work. I figure maybe she might still be in the mood when I get home so I try and understand. Over 8 weeks since our last encounter as of today.
  • Just started using a glass dildo... she REALLY liked it... the smoothness was a new sensation that was very appealing.
  • I agree with sex toys to help spice things up and have convinced the wife that she'd look great with handcuffs and a ball gag.
  • Our sex life is very rarely happening these days. I try to start it but get turned down.
  • Would like to try some of these... ;)
  • My wife decided to get a vibrating bullet after reading some of the content on the marriage bed (which surprised me). It arrived two days ago and the past two nights we've been loving it.
  • When we use them we love them. One of our favorites is a remote control egg that I control whole it is inside my wife. Sometimes I wish we used them more but no problem. Wish she would use something on me, like a sleeve or prostate stimulator.
  • Mini-Vibrator for the finger on the Clitoris does the trick every time!
  • DW uses a vibrator most of the time we have sex. She doesn't have orgasms from penetration alone and needs clitoral stimulation.
  • Would love to involve more toys
  • I'm hoping that as we get more adventurous in our sex life my wife will be more excited about using toys. Don't mean to rush her though. We have the rest of our lives to get there.
  • We don't now but I would like to try. I and my wife both orgasm without toys so adding them would be for fun and adventure.
  • Wife loves the Hitachi Magic Wand - one of the best gifts I've ever got her. Used regularly together & solo. Doesn't really do much for me though. Would like to try more toys, but sometimes it's hard to know if they're going to be a hit or a miss. We-Vibe looks like it might suit us well - that's probably the next thing on the list :)
  • The only sex toy we've used is a male masturbator. We bought it for use after she has the baby for her to use on me. We've tried it out once we got it & I loved it. Would like to incorporate it more. She said she doesn't like sex toys and doesn't want any used on her so we've never even tried them. I would like to just for something different.
  • They can be great, but we noticed my wife lost some of her abilities to orgasm without a toy. It took some of her senses away. We have scaled back on the use of sex toys and some of her senses came back, we periodically use sex toys now.
  • Sex toys are awesome and fun! Spice it up folks!
  • Toys are fun to change things up on occasion. Not something we do on a consistent basis but fun when they are used!
  • Sex toys are an excellent addition to our love making; however, a comfort and trust needed to be established before we could incorporate them. It's all about communication.
  • This has become more common for us since we found this group. We have learned that what we do in our marriage as long as it's not sinful is OK. We have stopped masturbating (with or without toys) without the approval of our partner. My wife also discovered this year her love of anal stimulation after years of "no go". I also like using a prostrate vibrator/penis ring as she can feel the vibration as well. And last night she used a bullet vibe in her anus while we had intercourse--it was awesome!
  • Sometimes it's the only way for DW to climax. Tried a few "male" toys and found all useless. BTW, it was after reading your site that I had the idea of using a vibrator on her.
  • We purchased a few toys, but somehow, never got around to using them. However if games that lead to arousal/sex can be considered toys, then we've done that.
  • We've used a vibrator for a few years now. Not realistic looking, that was important to my wife. Anyway we don't know what would be the next thing to try. Almost wish there was a like a list of sex toys to try in order. A specific thing to try next.
  • Not seen any need to use any
  • Prostate toy
  • I have gotten us many toys to use but my wife does not have any interest in sexual pleasure so therefore has no need of toys to enhance her physical enjoyment of sexual pleasure. When I can convince her to try them, she enjoys the experience and can climax from them. But it's rare that she will actually take advantage of them.
  • I wish my wife was into them more. She likes the way they make her feel, but rarely thinks about them.
  • maybe someday. have a long ways to grow before we get to that point though.

 

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