User Rating:  / 15


Lori Byerly

Making love with your spouse should be a joyous, exciting time. Here are some things to consider in making your private time more comfortable and enjoyable.


  • Get a lock for your bedroom door or choose places where you will be alone with no chance of people wandering in.
  • Consider the noise factor. Insulation in walls, sound-absorbing carpets and drapes, cover music or taking the farthest bedroom in the house can help keep your sexuality private.
  • It's also a good idea to get a locked box or drawer for bedroom items like birth control, lubricant, sex manuals, etc..


  • A comfortable bed is a good piece of furniture to invest in. Not only will it make lovemaking more comfortable, but it will also help you get a good night's sleep.
  • Get some soft pillows for tucking here and there.
  • Consider the temperature of the room. I'm sure many of you can identify with the temperature issue (Paul calls me Nanook of the North). Work to find a balance between goose bumps and heat stroke. [Note to men from Paul - being too hot will not keep you from enjoying sex the way being too cold will for her!]


  • candles and petals © Ricardomff | dreamstime.comMake your bedroom a neat and attractive getaway place just for the two of you.
  • Buy a dimmer switch and install it on your bedside lamp for playing with light levels.
  • Try different-colored light bulbs (soft pink is nice).
  • Candles are a nice lighting option (be sure and put them where they can't be knocked over).


  • If you like music, pick something that you feel will enhance your lovemaking time and put it on repeat at a comfortable volume (most people prefer instrumental music, as words can be distracting).
  • There are also non-music sound tapes and CD's available (waterfalls, crickets, that sort of thing).


  • Be sure to bathe often enough to be pleasing to your spouse (deodorant is an optional preference).
  • Perfumes and scented powders are nice (don't use too much). As an alternative, you could scent your sheets lightly instead.

Massage Oil © Gunnar3000 |dreamstimeTouch

  • Be sure to clip or file nails (both fingers and toes!).
  • Use lotion for soft skin.
  • Have soft clean sheets.
  • Store lubricants and massage lotion nearby.


  • Brush your teeth (floss and mouthwash optional).
  • Some folk like flavored items in the bedroom (food, flavored lotions and powders).


  • Have some small towels handy for cleanup.
  • Make sure that lighting and sound can be turned off from the bed.


Image Credits in order shown: © Ricardomff | © Gunnar3000 |dreamstime


Christian Marriage Bloggers Association

Support TMB


About Julie

Julie and Randall

Julie Sibert writes and speaks about sexual intimacy in marriage.  She lives in Omaha, Nebraska, with her husband and their two boys.
Julie blogs at IntimacyInMarriage, where she encourages women to make time for sex in the midsts of their busy lives.

intimacy in marriage


About "J"


J is a Christian, a wife, a mom, a writer, and a work in progress.
J writes anonymously at Hot, Holy & Humorous, where she uses a biblical perspective and a blunt sense of humor to foster Christian sexuality in marriage.



About Brad & Kate

Brad and Kate

Brad and Kate have three children. Kate is currently a stay at home mom and is homeschooling their children. She also has a photography business, Kate Aldrich Photography, which she enjoys in her spare time. Brad, licensed in Pennsylvania as a Marriage and Family Therapist, works as the Executive Director of Family Resource and Counseling Centers.
Brad add Kate blog at One Flesh Marriage, offering a unique "his view, her view" look at marriage issues.

one flesh marriage


About Bonny

Bonny Logsdon Burns aka Pearl

Bonny and her husband "Mr. Muscle" have three sons (which includes twins) and one daughter-in-law, all in their 20's. Raised in Indiana farm country, their "hearts have belonged to Wilmington, NC, since 1998."
Bonny blogs at Pearl's Oyster Bed, where she focuses on bolstering the low-libido wife.



About Chris

Forgiven wife

Drawing on her own story, Chris writes to encourage wives as they break away from sexual gate-keeping and refusing and learn to be sexually generous. She lives in Wisconsin with her husband, their three young adult kids, and an elderly cat.
Chris blogs at The Forgiven Wife, urging other women to embrace the joy and deep intimacy of married sex.



About Alecia

Clint and Alecia

Clint and Alecia have been married since 1997. They both attended North Central University where Alecia stole his heart when she asked to wear his baseball cap. They married shortly after that and began a journey that neither one of them would have predicted. They have four children, Caleb, Chloe, Caitlin, and Cayson as well as two dogs and two cats! Clint enjoys guitar, golf, boardgames, getting injured on the snowboard, and a good cup of coffee. Alecia enjoys piano, reading, scrapbooking, and getting in a nap when she can!

marriage life


Clint and Alecia blog at Marriage Life, taking the experiences they have walked through and useing them to help others and walk along side others as they do the necessary hard work on their own marriages.


Want to Talk?


Come join us on the TMB forum. A safe place for Christians to talk about sex.