Members of The Marriage Bed e-mail list
Years ago a suggestion was made by a member of the e-mail discussion list (now the TMB message boards) that folks should share publicly why they loved their husband or wife. The following are the responses of those who agreed to let us use what they said. Names have been removed, and spacing has been modified in some cases, but these are the original words and thoughts of those who wrote them.
I love him because:
~he doesn't get mad when I beat him at Jeopardy, even though he's really competitive.
~he likes to play "dinosaurs" with our kids
~he works a job he doesn't really like that much so I can stay home with the kids
~he looks good in silk boxers and tight jeans
~he knows the "ultimate answer to life, the universe, and everything"
~we laugh at the same jokes
~even after three kids and the wear and tear that has ravaged on my body, he still gets turned on when I'm naked
~he'll go without meatloaf for years on end because I hate it
~he's an absolutely trust-worthy man
~he isn't afraid to ask me what I like in bed and isn't afraid to tell me what he likes
~of all the women in the world, he picked me to be his wife and promised to be faithful to me for the long haul
I love her because:
1) She helped me through a very rough time, before we were married.
2) She accepted the fact that I fell in love with her at first sight.fruit
3) She fell in love with me.
4) She saw past all my faults, and married me anyway.
5) She allows me the honor of making love to her.
6) She bears the marks that she got, while carrying MY children.
7) She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
8) She is the world's greatest tease.
9) She accepted Christ as her personal savior.
10) She is working very hard, to be the kind of wife that God wants her to be.
11) She is working on the "Obey" part of her wedding vow very hard.
The list could go on forever, but I need to save some to send her later.
1) He loves me and wants to build a family with me.
2) He believes in commitment and I believe him when he says that he'll only get married once and he'll always love me.
3) He is honest and doesn't lie to me or to other people (sometimes to a fault, but I am the same way).
4) He is real and doesn't try to be someone he is not. (Like me) He is never fake.
5) He tells me I am beautiful even when I think I am not.
6) He worries about me if
7) He respects me and supports me. He doesn't think he is more superior to me, but rather an equal partner in our marriage.
8) If I really want something and I ask him, usually he'll agree to it unless he has a good reason not to.
9) He sticks to his word.
10) He trusts me.
11) Before we started dating, he would drive half an hour (each way) out of his way to come see me at work
12) He loves animals, especially dogs.
13) He's okay with me looking for another job that will bring in a lot less money so I can be happier and fully supports and encourages it.
14) He doesn't smoke. He doesn't drink very much.
15) He is smart and dedicated to his job
16) He is a good friend
17) He can be funny and we share a similar sense of humor
18) He doesn't like to watch sports and doesn't do things to make himself look more cool/macho, only does or likes what he wants to.
19) He loves me for who I am, and does not need me to change (he'll love me anyway if I don't change).
20) He will be a good father to our children.
I could write a book here, but I'll limit it to the most important few.
I love her because:
♥ She has great integrity.
♥ She loves me as I am.
♥ I can be myself with her (and only her).
♥ She loves me enough to tell me when I am wrong - be it a major sin or hurting someone's feelings.
♥ She has freely given herself to me sexually (she does not say no physically OR emotionally).
I love and want to spend my life with him because:
- He is a kind, compassionate man.
- He abundantly gives to others unconditionally, asking nothing in return.
- His has an incredibly good heart.
- He loves to play steamroller with our son.
- My happiness is important to him.
- We share the same dreams....for now and the future.
- God truly made us one when we were married.
- His passion extends to all areas of his life.
- He supports me where and when I need it most.
- He is a dreamer.
- He is INCREDIBLY sexy.
- He wants to please me, in and out of the bedroom.
- He loves Mexican food as much as I do.
- He is generous in all ways.
- He believes in me.
- He lets me be me...even with my faults.
- He loves the Lord and hears Him, even when he doesn't know it.
- He'll go out of his way to find a Starbucks for me. :)
- He is gracious and forgiving.
- He wants us to go a full-timing.....and is working hard toward that goal!
I love him because ~
~ just being who he is
~ he is a loving husband
~ he is a wonderful father
~ he is a wonderful son
~ the smile that he has especially for me
~ he gets up with our 3 week old in the middle of the night to feed him even if his alarm is set for 7am the next morning so he can get ready to go to work
~ he will cleaning the kitchen, even when I don't ask him to
~ of the way he looks at me with those beautiful blue eyes of his
~ he loves me for who I am and not what I look like, even the way he keeps telling me I look sexy (even though I tend to not agree with him on this one)
~ of the way he says I love you to me in the morning before he goes off to work or any other time he leaves the apartment.
~ of the way he kisses me
~ he will take the time to play with our daughter when she is not getting "daddy's attention" and gets frustrated. (You should see the block towers they build together.)
~ of the way he'll sit there and read a story to our daughter over and over again just because she says "Read to me daddy" over and over again.
I love him because
♥ He has the good sense to know when his lizard imitation is getting on my nerves.
♥ He takes our son to Home Depot with him and doesn't buy him power tools.
♥ He hangs up his towel just for me.
♥ He mowed a widowed friend's yard for over a year without pay (we have a landscape business).
♥ He laughs at my jokes, even when they're not so funny (I can be humor challenged at times).
♥ He lets me know when I'm PMSing and doesn't think I'm stupid because of it.
♥ He shows real honesty and integrity in business and ministry.
♥ He doesn't hide from the truth even when it hurts or it challenges his existing beliefs.
♥ He has a cute ... uh ... he looks good in jeans.
♥ He has dimples.
This is a great idea!! I love it! Ok, here is what I love about him --
~~ He is as comfortable in a tux as he is in jeans.
~~ He will rub my feet even though he doesn't like to
~~ He is always a Michael, never a Mike
~~ He sings to me
~~ He doesn't expect me to cook when I'm sick, or have a headache, or had a bad day.
~~ He hugs me any time I want one.
~~ He doesn't try to understand me, he just loves me.
~~ He thinks I'm better than what I am
~~ He would rather be at home playing with his kids than anything else.
~~ He is confident, capable, and devoted.
~~ He is a good and honorable man.
~~ He is my Hero!!
- she likes the same kind of music I do, including the music I write
- she does beat me at Taboo, even though she knows I'm really competitive (I don't like people to let me win...)
- she likes cats, especially our two cats
- she's honest and tells me the truth, even when it's too good for me to believe
- Proverbs 5:18-19... especially 19 ;-)
- she is willing to pray and work and think about how to make our sexual relationship even better, even though she was mostly satisfied before
- she loves God more than she loves me, and helps me have faith in those times when I run out of faith
- she liked Sports Night, even though ABC eventually cancelled it
- she wants to have kids with me someday - she'll be a great mother
- she tells me I'll be a good father
- she's a geek (I am too - sometimes we talk about math when we're naked, tee hee)
- she really meant it (and means it still) when she said "For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others for as long as you both shall live."
I, too, have a list of loves about my husband:
1) He supports my dreams: being a stay-at-home mom, being a working mom; showing dogs (making and buying equipment, babysitting when I'm away at shows, letting me get yet ANOTHER expensive dog); When I wanted to garden, he roto-tilled, made raised beds and flowerboxes. Then he took over the garden :>( But that's ok...)
2) If we want or need it, but can't afford it, he makes it. Our bed, a dining room set, a deck, shelves, his workshop equipment, a white-picket fence around the garden, a trellis, a garden path, an arbor with a bench, a garden shed, a privacy fence, my ceramic working area, and more.
3) He will buy a mechanical book on our car and insist on fixing it himself (even when he can't, lol).
4) I often start recipes, only to discover I don't have all the ingredients in my kitchen that I thought I had. He will run to the store for me at the drop of a hat -- and not complain.
5) He agrees with my philosophy that the reason we learned
6) He doesn't drink, dance or smoke
7) Even though he already had 3 children when we married, he agreed to our having children (I didn't have any). Even after I was found to have a fertility problem, he supported my efforts in spite of the fact our son will graduate from high school the same year hubby retires :>)
8) He is reliable. (He just got a commendation letter from his company for having a perfect attendance record for 2001.) I don't have to worry about where he's at or what he's doing, or with whom.
9) He puts the gas in my car, so I don't have to (just one of those thoughtful little things that mean a lot!).
10) Since my dad died two years ago, he has helped my mom with dozens of "emergencies" and things at her home that needed fixing that she couldn't afford to have done; he has, in effect, two houses to take care of and that's a lot of work.
11) I haven't a clue how to run the lawn-mower or the snow-blower, and that's OK with him :) (I *can* run the dish-washer and the clothes washer --- that's OK with him too!)
12) He thinks frozen pizza is one of the major food groups.
I love her with all my heart because:
- She is the most incredible mother I've ever seen.
- She has the most beautiful hair in the world, and she wears it long even though she hates it, just because I like it.
- She doesn't gloat (very much) when she's right.
- She can finish my sentences.
- She believes I can do anything I set my mind to.
- She cries over television commercials.
- She supports me in everything I do...even if it seems ridiculous to her.
- She hears God (and pays attention!), and then helps me understand it.
- She will go to the same Mexican restaurant with me 5 days in a row and not complain.
- She will look at every coupon in every paper just to make sure we are not going broke on groceries.
- She loves cats as much as I do.
- She brings me back to earth when I get just a little too far out there.
- She will wake me up if I fall asleep too early and remind me that I wanted to have sex! ;-)
- She will fight to the death to protect a child - ANY child.
- She watches nothing but Barney, Dora, Blue, and Bob the Builder all day every day and is still sane (for the most part).
- She understands me better than I understand myself.
- She lets me test drive a car that costs more than our house and then listens to me talk about it for the next month.
- She loves our child enough to nurse him until HE's ready to stop, even though she was ready a year ago.
- She hasn't had a good night's sleep in 28 months, and she never says a word about it.
- She likes NASCAR (probably more than me!).
- I can look into her beautiful eyes and all of my troubles, fears, disappointments, and frustrations dissolve without a trace.
I Love her because
--She loves me and married me
--She makes me a complete person and filled up a hole in my life I didn't even realize was there till we met.
--She is a wonderful mother to our children.
--She keeps me warm at night
--If not for her I don't know what kind of mess my life would be in.
--She keeps me safe and in control.
--She is good in Bed.
--She can look into my eyes and see right through me to know when something isn’t right.
--I can spend all day
I love and adore him because:
He has beautiful seductive blue eyes.
He is musical and I love watching him play the piano, guitar and whatever else he gets his hands on.
He is incredibly supportive, loving and caring.
He is able to speak to anyone without fear.
He has wonderful big hands.
He lifts his arms in church.
He is involved in everything the kids do.
He is will to do and try anything and everything with me.
He has a soft heart.
He believes in me.
He is generous.
He looks gorgeous in blue jeans.
He walks close to God.
He is isn't afraid to show emotion.
He is affectionate.
He always has pudding.
He loves my body.
He was brave enough to LOVE a divorced woman with two children.
He is worth submitting to.
He bakes a mean pancake.
He is worth respecting and has integrity.
He thinks I'm a goddess and treats me like one!
And mostly, because he chose ME to be his wife! Winner!!
Why I think he is so special...
♥ He came out of a horrible childhood without becoming a rapist, or killer or other sort of criminal. He ended the generations of abuse by becoming a wonderful father to his children and my adult sons (who say he is the only father they want or need).
♥ He put himself through college with no help from anyone while providing for his child and is one of the best engineers around, supporting us very well.
♥ He helped me get over the pains of a divorce (23 year marriage to a man who would not have me if I left the religion and was himself an unhonourable thief) and helped me to see that there was a life after leaving Jehovah's Witnesses. He cries with me for the loss of my daughter who chooses to follow the shunning rule.
♥ He calls me to see a sunset or a starry night. He wakes me and cuddles me in a blanket to watch a meteor shower.
♥ He lives an old-fashioned life of allowing me to stay home, opens my car door and won't think of allowing me to mow or take out the garbage.
♥ He looks at me as if no other woman exists, like I hold his heart and soul and I think I do because I know he holds mine.
♥ He protects me from animals or people who want to harm or hurt me. I have never known this before.
♥ He makes sure that my wild birds have feed because he knows how much I love to watch them.
♥ And though we met later in life (I am 43 and he is 48 and married 3 years in June) we both pretend that we have always been together and had no other life. Our children are our children and no other life seems possible.
♥ Oh yes, intimacy is wonderful with him, too. When you get older it may not happen as often but it is much more intense and memorable. :)